Pollito's Grill and Rotisserie

"Stupidity is the devil. Look in the eye of a chicken and you'll know. It's the most horrifying, cannibalistic, and nightmarish creature in this world." Werner Herzog
vs.
"Chickens are great companions. If only people knew how smart and lovable they can be." - United Poultry Concern, 'Promoting the compassionate and respectful treatment of domestic fowl.'


You be the Judge! Take a look at the following photos and decide which chicken would make a lovable companion and which embodies the term 'nightmarish creature.'

If you call yourself an American it's safe to assume you made the patriotic and entirely correct choice in selecting the photo on the right as the chicken who'd make a great companion for life. Rob Anderson made a similar choice in selecting Pollito's Grill and Rotisserie at 39 N Wells as the 5th stop in The LLC2's ongoing search for the best loop lunch in Chicago.


It felt a little eerie to be the only customer in the Mexican chicken joint on the same day I finished a novel filled with magical realism about a Mexican cafe. Was I fated to be there? Was there some force beyond this world pulling me into Pollito's? When the second customer arrived with a stack of crossword puzzles I was on the brink of fainting and only maintained consciousness by listening to the divine intervention of Faith Hill instructing me to "Just Breathe" over the speaker system.

Pollito's keeps the heart decorations up on the counter
year long to show love for their regulars.

Catching my breath and feeling the blood return to my brain I took both a seat and a look around at the bright and festive interior of Pollito's. The menu is posted on the wall in bands of colors that make it look like a massive 2-dimensional piñata, only if it were a piñata it'd be filled with chunks of dark meat and mole sauce and children would dread having its contents showered down upon them. Some lively artwork covers the walls which are painted with an olive and lime green color scheme that looks tasteful on the wall and sounds as though it'd taste terrible on a plate. By the time the rest of The Loop Lunch Club arrived I was salivating so much I could have filled the Rio Grande.


"I have a feeling this is going to be a contender," said Anderson, who struggled with several choices this week and settled on Pollito's for their ample table space. The LLC was expecting guests but it seems crises prevailed. Looking over the menu Anderson and Dan Ofman debated whether to share some buffalo wings as Dan Spira came through the entrance. 

I don't know anyone else who wears them

"Look at this line," Spira said as he removed a pair of 180 earmuffs that have been on the verge of looking socially acceptable since they first hit the scene 12 years ago. "Bodes well for quality." The wings situation resolved itself when we discovered they were out of them. A BBQ quesadilla was ordered in its place.


The Food arrived quickly, but not quickly enough for Anderson. "I hope they didn't forget the quesa," he said, displaying his famous aptitude for abbreviation. With the food on the table The LLC engaged in a discussion on what differentiates a burrito from a wrap. Dan Ofman, the nation's biggest FAN of "The Voice" instantly steered the discussion towards records vs. albums and the subject matter of his latest love letter to Cee lo Green.

My Buffalo Chicken Wrap.
"I forgot they had diet coke here," said Spira
of the can in the background.

"I forgot there was avocado in here," Spira lied to the group. We all know that Spira uses each LLC meeting to fill his self-imposed daily required intake of avocado and Diet Coke. He continued, "Always a positive." The use of the word 'always' was a gentle reminder that he always has avocado and couldn't possibly be surprised to find it in his Avocado Wrap.

I though my buffalo chicken wrap was a great way to start the day. It was filling and offered enough heat to provide a kick without forcing me to constantly refill my water. Dan Ofman explained as he quickly grabbed a fry from my plate that he had read online about the fries diminishing in quality as they cool down. He was right, though I'd still like former LLCer and French fry enthusiast Crisis Chris Hartemayer to ply his fry expertise and offer some insight. Anderson opted for the Poblano Mac'n'cheese, a spicier, not as cheesy, green colored cousin of the American mainstay side dish. "All the sides are popular," said the man behind the counter who is understandably tired of being asked which side dish is the best.

"What is this?" Anderson said of the hot sauce (left)
"He's a weirdo," said Anderson of Dan Ofman (right)

"That's a special treat!" Said Anderson of his BBQ quesadilla. I can speak for the entire group when I say Pollito's was a special treat itself. Personally, I think it was a better experience than LLC Tournament runner up Frontera Fresco.


Pollito's Notes:

• The Staff are big Chicago sports fans. One man wore a Blackhawks hat. Another wore a Bears sweatshirt and removed it to reveal a Bears long sleeve shirt.
• There was a lot of talk about the available sauces and salsas. Very little was consumed.
• Absence of Danny Rubenstein and Steve Lake due to crisis and dependency on Danny Rubenstein attendance, respectively. I'm sure Lake would have endorsed the soups had he been there.

Specialty's Cafe and Bakery

"I'm impressed with the overall taste." - LLC Legend Nick Nikitas

A nerd leaves Specialty's

While Nikitas was speaking about a prior Loop Lunch Club outing to Kamehachi Cafe it's safe to assume the man who selected the first LLC Champion would have a comparable reaction to this week's spot. Because last week's Bert and Ernie joke really ruffled the feathers of Steve "Big Bird" Lake he decided to fly solo in making the LLC2's fourth selection, Specialty's Cafe and Bakery at 191 N Wacker.

It's difficult for me to make this point without overplaying my experience, but Specialty's is a lot like how I would like heaven to be. Plenty of coffee, hot and cold sandwiches, all day breakfast options, and a blended aroma of ham and baked goods that redefines and re-spells the term heavenscent. I sat, eyes closed, listening to what I truly believe was a harp being strummed on the speakers, wondering if I had ascended to a higher plane on lunch and awaiting the arrival of the other LLC Angels (not a bad name for a potential cheerleading group if any female readers are looking to get their faces out there on some LLC Lunch boxes and other fabulous merchandise).

The angels were late so I decided to peruse the giant pseudo-chalkboard menus. Though as of yet unannounced I have made a vow not to order a club sandwich during this second Loop Lunch Club circuit, however, when the menu headings are "Classic," "Deluxe" and "Gourmet" there isn't much to worry about because they all sound like great, nearly excellent options. With no descriptions on the board I made the rash yet correct choice in selecting the Hot Hammer (a deluxe option). Ideally I'd be quoting an LLCer now, but none had arrived yet so I'll quote the stranger I overheard advising another stranger on what to order. "Sandwiches are good. Bread is good," he said. Clearly this man is no Dan Spira.

Lake's Peanut Butter and Jelly and Stuff

It was at this point that the rest of The LLC began to arrive. Rob Anderson was quick to point fingers, indicating immediately that "Late Lake is late again!" Anderson then snatched up a carryout menu and clued me in on the Hot Hammer's liberal portion of cream cheese. "I love cream cheese," he said. "It makes things better."

We placed our orders and were handed buzzers that added a unforeseen aspect of suspense to our waiting period. I was curios as to where The LLC would sit. Options abound for diners at Specialty's as they can accommodate any form of lower back pain or light sensitivity between the corner booths, counters, high-tops, and lobby seating with floor to ceiling windows offering an unforgettable view of the famous Wacker Drive cab traffic.

Seeing Dan Ofman approach the table with a peanut butter chocolate chip colossus Dan "Cookie Monster" Spira said for the second consecutive week, "I may have to get one of those on the way out." After sampling a bite, also for the second consecutive week, I too expressed a desire to get one on the way out. When Ofman's buzzer went off he gave a double fist pump and exclaimed "YES!" as though he had accomplished more than successfully waiting a few minutes for a sandwich to be prepared. Once I had a bite of my own I understood his excitement.  It was food hall good!

A Hot Hammer for a Hot Ammer

Dan Spira doing his best Bobby Knight in
the lobby. An apt response to Dan Ofman's
claims of the Bulls' chances without Rose.

"The water cups are a little small," said Danny Rubenstein as he took a seat at the head of the table. "But on the plus side I feel like a giant holding it." I doubt he was referring to the New York Giants who recently defeated his beloved 49ers, but perhaps carrying those tiny water cups gave him the mindset of a man only a few days away from the most important game of his life.

I was pleased with my Hot Hammer despite its only being warm and not getting me hammered. As Anderson predicted the cream cheese made it better and the potato poppy seed bread was a perfect match for the stone ground mustard. The Loop Lunch Club had a wonderful experience and a delicious meal at Specialty's that went very smoothly until Dan Spira's violent outburst simultaneously brought a hypothetical sports argument and the meal to abrupt finishes.


Specialty's Notes:

• Steve Lake really wanted me to mention the quality of the soups.
• When picking up my sandwich the guy asked if I was Ted. Why doesn't everyone know our names yet? This is the second time in four weeks we've been misidentified.
• Rob Anderson said of the below photograph, "This is the funniest picture I've seen in months."

Rick Ofman, seen here on picture day circa 1995,
with a triple threat mullet, bowl-cut, jew-fro. And
I'm not even touching on the shirt.

Noodles by Takashi Yagihashi

"You are almost ready to be entrusted with the secret ingredient of my secret ingredient soup." - Ping

Today's quote comes from one of the nation's most recognizable noodle chefs, the adoptive father of Po, the Kung Fu Panda who captured both the dragon scroll and the hearts of children and parents alike on his way to uncovering the mysteries of the true secret ingredient of life. The Loop Lunch Club did some research of our own this week to find what secret ingredients create the complex flavors at Noodles by Takashi Yagihashi at 111 N State Street.

Devoted readers are probably thinking, "But Sam, didn't The LLC already meet at 111 N State when you tried Frontera Fresco? I'm sure you did because I remember laughing so hard at your Rick Bayliss jokes and sharing your blog with my friends and family." Well devoted readers, you're right. And thank you. The LLC returned to the 7th floor of Macy's to what I mistakenly referred to as a food court. This time around I was informed that Takashi is part of a much more elegant "Food Hall" where the superior quality warrants a more grandiose designation but you still here the staff yell out, "Number 15! Let's go, let's go!" I'll forego any further distinctions between the atmosphere of our prior visit and this one because that would just be splitting hairs, which is about as useful as splitting tens.

Takashi, seen here maintaining the secrets of his
secret ingredient

Chef Yagihashi, a man I once shook the hand of and helped unload boxes for, is the owner and executive chef of the well established Bucktown restaurant Takashi as well as a new River North location that, unless his middle name is Slurping Turtle, isn't named after him.

Takashi (this is what I'll be calling the food hall location) was the joint selection of the dynamic duo of Steve Lake and Danny Rubenstein, a modern day live action Bert and Ernie. Like the Sesame Street stand ins they've come to represent they do everything together, so it came as no surprise that they both pushed for a new table, both jumped to the front of the line and huddled together mumbling, "G is for Ginger, H is for Hot sauce!"

Henry Ford would be proud

Lake, who led to The LLC at the counter, explained the value added benefit of carrying a Macy's Food Hall customer loyalty card. I'd have two punches on mine if I'd kept it after Frontera Fresco, but alas, I tossed it immediately. Fortunately there wasn't time to mourn for the card as my spirits were instantly lifted by the overwhelmingly efficient assembly line service. Customers begin with a free cookie sample that elicited a chorus of "mmm"s from the Ofman brothers "oh, my, how delicious"s from Dan Spira and Rob Anderson.  After placing your order you find you've been given a thematically apt Asian style tray and pint glass of ice water. Next you encounter a series of utensils and sauces that allow everyone from the expert chop sticker to the novice fork favorer to shovel fried rice into their mouth comfortably.

"This place is blowing Petro's out of the water," said a salivating Dan Ofman. "And we haven't even eaten."

Following Bert and Ernie's lead I
added ginger and corn

My order of pork fried rice deserved to be served in a food hall. The pork was succulent, and much like an M&M it melted in my mouth, though I didn't test it in my hand. The side of pot stickers was pedestrian, though the I did enjoy the pickled cabbage they were served over, which featured a subtle, understated flavor that cleansed the palate as it tiptoed across my tastebuds.

"I like how it's served piping hot," said Lake of his plate of rice. "You know, the way the bowl of rice stays hot."

Bobbo's bob-bowl

When asked about his noodles Rob Anderson sat up and heaved a sigh of remorse. "Pretty bland," he said. Later he'd add some sauces and assure the group that it had improved, though the extra broth, pork, and egg tells me he left unsatisfied. Rob does not like the 7th floor of Macy's.

After having his diet coke refilled for him Dan Spira expressed his appreciation for the service and food by simply and accurately stating, "This is a great food court." So great, in fact, that it's a food hall.

Takashi Notes:

• Despite ordering fried rice Danny Rubenstein announced to nobody in particular, "I'm the mayor of noodles."
• Rubenstein's twitter prowess has garnered The LLC an invitation from Sushi Samba, who asked, "What are you waiting for?" In the event Sushi Samba has a social media intern who may be reading this, we are waiting for lower prices.

Chef Petro's Restaurant

"Punctuality is the virtue of the bored." - Evelyn Waugh

While new Loop Lunch Club member Steve "Late" Lake missed his first day as an official LLCer with his nose buried in an old copy of "Brideshead Revisited," those of us blessed with the virtue of punctuality sat down at Chef Petro's Restaurant at 160 N La Salle for the LLC2's second week. In fact, I was so bored that morning that I arrived early, allowing me to build a rapport with the host, a dead ringer for the dad on Everybody Loves Raymond. Despite his curmudgeonly appearance we had a nice chat about his son the attorney who lived at Bromley Hall. Just like I did! Other than the host's family history I was also able to take in the atmosphere at Petro's, yet another Greek diner chosen by Dan Ofman.

I didn't stop walking to take this picture
but i think you can still tell it's a diner.

The register at the front desk was old enough to be my father, or at least a register my father might have operated a long time ago. Along the walls were brightly painted murals of Chicago's landmark tourist locations and skylines; these also appeared to be unchanged for several decades. The same can be said for the television sets, waitresses, furniture, and customer base. Undoubtedly our group lowered the average age of Petro's inhabitants by approximately (I just pulled out a calculator to produce this number) 4.7 years.

Dan Ofman, Rob Anderson and myself were seated ahead of the remaining LLC members. The host asked for their names to better assist them in finding us. We told him, "Dan and Steve." Later, Dan Spira arrived and reported that the host inquired if he was "Bob or Steven." Spira said no. The host then instructed he "just go to the back."

Petro's is also a 'fresh bakery'. Unless they sold out early it looks like the bake half cantaloupes and plates.

"Look at that neon sign," Anderson said, pointing through the window to a martini glass across the street. "It fills up and then gets drunk!" It then occurred to me that Rob may have been raised in the woods and never seen something like this before, but that seemed unlikely. Just as impressive as the martini sign was the Cadillac Palace Theater, lighting up Randolph Street with its 'South Pacific' Charm. Anderson, while blown away with the exterior view was equally wowed by what he saw inside. "This is a nice interior," he said.

I'll have the W-2 with extra income
and a dependent of hash browns.

Maybe it's just that time of year but looking at Petro's menu I felt a sudden urge to start working on my taxes. This could be attributed to the tight layout and black print, but more likely it was due the pricing. "$10 for an omelet?" I thought to myself in the voice of Judd Hirsch's character from Independence Day. "Oy gevalt. For what do I need with a $10 omelet?"

Though the prices and meals weren't entirely kosher the portions certainly were. Our low talking waitress brought the food to the table and within seconds The LLC erupted with a full spectrum of reactions. "This is a big plate of food!" Ofman said of his ham, cheese, and broccoli omelet. "Holy cow!" He went on. "That's a lot of broccoli!" Across the table a slouching Dan Spira prodded his Greek chicken and rice beneath an unexpected, heavy brown sauce with the unusually ornate cutlery of Petro's, mumbling, "This is...interesting."

Ofman went green. Spira went Greek. Guess which one is never going back.

My omelet, seen here with salt and pepper shakers that, much like newspaper, turn yellow when left our for 30 years.

In the end, my cheeseless omelet disappointed, Spira was unhappy and there was not a lot of positivity around the table. I don't see Petro's making a miracle Marquette run come tournament time.

Petro's Notes:

• Absence of Danny Rubenstein, who was sacked by Jason Pierre-Paul en route from San Francisco.
• Absence of "Situation" Steve Lake, who requested I not mock him in the blog for all the obvious reasons he should be mocked in this blog.
• No ice in the water. Normally a problem, but seeing as it's been three months since I was meant to schedule a follow up dental appointment my maxillary central incisor could use the break.

Goodwin's

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

It wasn't faith that led me down the staircase at 175 N Franklin this MLK day but rather the seductive sandwich smells of Goodwin's Restaurant, the first stop on The Loop Lunch Club's second tour. For me, choosing Goodwin's was a simple decision. It is directly across the street from Perry's Deli, the former LLC Champion, and its name contains the Latin roots "good" and "win" which translate roughly to "Obvious" and "LLC Champion" respectively.

This time around The LLC is down to four members, as Nick Nikitas has moved to the good land of Milwaukee and Crisis Chris Hartemayer just couldn't handle the stress of a once weekly lunch outing. With the limited number of members we have tentatively reduced the tournament to 8 restaurants.

Spira (foreground) fits in with the crowd at Goodwin's.

"I like coming down the stairs," said a winded Andy Ofman who apparently has developed a dependency on escalators. "It adds to the intrigue." This truly was an intriguing place. Once down the stairs customers find themselves in a hybrid of a coffeehouse and dentist's waiting room. There were multiple coffee tables lined with magazines and a shelf running the length of the wall with knickknacks reminiscent of a grandmother's sitting room. Besides what was offered by the stairs and ambiance Goodwin's featured a fair amount of intrigue on its menu. Signature sandwiches are the calling card of the establishment, though as Rob Anderson warned the group, "the wraps are good too. I wouldn't overlook the wraps."

The line we waited in because Dan was late. It moved pretty quickly

The LLC had more than ample time to review the menu while waiting on the arrival of Dan Ofman, who was late due to the incredible attention to detail he has when applying Just For Men's "Touch of Grey" each morning. When he finally showed up he had both the energy to wait in line and the experience to know what to order. Talk about the best of both worlds. I'd hire him.

"Do you want that hot or cold?" This question from behind the counter caught me off guard and I panicked. I went with hot, the better option. Forget Stan Van Gundy, I am the true master of panic. My Rexburg sandwich was great. No, it was better than great. It was excellent. Hot roast beef, turkey, bacon, lettuce, Muenster and Russian Dressing all on a marble rye that was good enough to warrant wresting from an octogenarian. I was almost ashamed of how excited I was to eat the second half while still chewing the first.

My Driver's Ed instructor, Rich Burg, would love my sandwich, Rexburg.

"I really like pretzel rolls," said Dan Spira as Anderson engaged the group in an enlightened discourse on the production values of Jurassic Park. Spira continued, "they aren't featured on many sandwiches."

Arriving as surprise guests after I had completed my lunch were Steve Lake and Danny Rubenstein*. Before saying hello Steve had already begun yelling at me concerning the durability of the tortilla chips compared to the consistency of the guacamole. He was right, they were too flimsy but the quality of the guacamole made up for it.

"I think the addition of salsa to this wrap (right) is extraordinary," Anderson announced to the group. This sentiment seemed in tune with everybody's feelings of satisfaction with their meals and experience at Goodwin's. A great start to the second season of The Loop Lunch Club.

*Not the Danny Rubenstein I grew up with. More likely the one following you too closely on twitter.

Goodwin's Notes:

• Andy Ofman, fresh from Hawaii, did not order the "Maui" sandwich
• An ongoing Scattergories debate resurfaced from about 1.5 years back. 

The Loop Lunch Club Tournament

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." - Douglas Adams

The Loop Lunch Club Tournament was held this past Friday at the home of LLC Godfather Rob Anderson. This being its inaugural year The LLC Tournament is yet to attract the national attention, sponsorship deals and television audience of its more culturally embedded NCAA and even NIT counterparts. However, that's not to say that our event should be overlooked for lacking the key characteristics of a great tournament. Let's take a look at how The LLC Tournament stacks up.

The Venue: The Superdome? Too big. The Rose Bowl? Honestly, nobody likes southern California. Madison Square Garden? I like my arenas how I like my Chinese food, no MSG. Rob Anderson's apartment? Yes, please! Rob's apartment was as fresh and inviting as the produce section at Dominick's, with plenty of snacks, drinks, and homemade chicken wings to around.

Rob had a special two sided bracket printed at Kinkos. It may look to be 8.5" by 11" but believe me, it's 48" wide.

The Competitors: There was a great deal of parody in the field of 16 as each restaurant had a chance at the title. Over the course of the evening, in neither the winners' nor losers' brackets, was there a unanimous victory.

Scouting Reports: All good coaches have them, so why would the strategic minds of The LLC be any different? Rob and Dan Ofman both produced hard copies of detailed analytical spreadsheets. These notes gave them the insights they needed to make informed decisions. Most notably, Dan Ofman's note on Heaven on Seven: "Post meal vomit".

Fans: We had five at the high point, two of which reluctantly paid attention.

Officiating: The LLC Tournament couldn't have been a success if not for the work of our noble Moderators. The Moderator was responsible for maintaining order, calling votes, and quieting the rabble. Most importantly, the Moderator had to wear a ridiculous hat and drink from a massive plastic stein. Johnny Anderson, Rob's brother, was honored as both the best-dressed attendee and the first ever Moderator.

Yes, that is an octagonal cardboard container of wine. 

Let's take a look at how it all went down...

In the opening round we saw Monk's Pub overcome a strong Pittsfield Cafe and another of Diner Dan's spots, B&B, knock Cellar's Market out of the running. There were two remarkable upsets during the tournament. One was Dan Ofman's stomach, the other was the 5-1 victory for The Berghoff over Kamehachi Cafe (clearly only an upset in my mind). In the debate leading to Perry's ousting Pastoral Crisis Chris encouraged the group to "remember, we're talking about lunch, not dinner." I didn't forget. Here's how the bracket looked after the first round.

Round two brought about some serious excitment with several matches ending in ties. As Rob's rules indicated, the vote would then go to the adoring fan(s). America voted, and with the support of the crowd Monk's Pub and The Marquette Inn lived to see another day. Later, in a showdown between Marquette and Oasis Cafe I was torn, and relied on the single word arguments of the Dans. Mr. Ofman said on behalf of Marquette, "service." Mr. Spira, on behalf of Oasis Cafe offered, "best-" and stopped himself before overstepping the word limit. I voted for Marquette. 

The semifinal match-ups were Monk's vs. Frontera Fresca and Perry's vs. Marquette. In the former, Frontera came out on top as The LLC agreed that at this point of the tournament we had to vote on taste, which Frontera had in spades. Speaking to why he voted against Monk's Crisis Chris had this to say, "The fries disappointed me, and the cola upset me." In the second match Dan Ofman struggled to garner support for his dark horse diner and Perry's walked away with a 5-1 victory in which even Dan voted against Marquette, explaining, "Perry's is better."

The Finals: I was pleased with Frontera Fresca and Perry's Deli as the two finalists (though I had anticipated Kamehachi Cafe could have made a run). Each LLCer struggled with this choice as both restaurants were strong candidates to win it all. Perry's had the giant sandwiches and fun atmosphere, while Frontera had the complex flavors of celebrity chef Skip Bayliss, who promised a special meal for The LLC if his restaurant won. After conducting a "Survival" style vote it was decided by a 5-1 margin. The Loop Lunch Club Champion is....

Perry's Deli!

Congratulations are due to Perry's as well as to The LLC for completing such a monumental journey. I'd like to thank the members of the club for including me in their quest. It was great getting to know you guys. I'd also like to thank the dedicated readership of this blog. No matter how many bad puns, comma splices, run on sentences and overly wordy prose I churned out I received nothing but support. 

Here's a final look at the bracket:

Tournament Notes:

• Luke's was voted as the worst restaurant in the losers' bracket, earning the title of "Donkey."
• Crisis Chris, who scheduled the event for 8PM, arrived at 9:35PM, due to a Crisis.

LLC Party Update

"Hey Bud, Let's Party!" - Jeff Spicoli

The Loop Lunch Club has not officially met since early November. That was back in 2011. Please don't mistake our time off as laziness or lack of enthusiasm, as we all remain as passionate about our mission to find Chicago's best loop lunch spot as we were when our quest first began. This unplanned hiatus has given each of us time to clear our minds and replenish our appetites. Now, with a fresh perspective on lunch, we are prepared to decide on a champion.

The LLC, and all those who wish to witness history, will be meeting this Friday, January 6th, at 8PM to simultaneously decide on and celebrate the winning restaurant. Brackets (see previous post) will be available on site and all those in attendance, as well as those who miss out on the fun, are encouraged to submit their picks.  For more information on where the party will be held, please contact any member of The Loop Lunch Club or comment on this blog with your contact information.

We look forward to your participation and thank you for your continued support of our club. May the best lunch win.

-The LLC, LLC.


For your entertainment...