Kamehachi Cafe

"Am I eating chicken or tuna?" - Jessica Simpson

Well Jess, if you had been dining with The LLC at Kamehachi Cafe at 311 S Wacker you were probably eating a bit of both. The initial outing of The LLC's accelerated schedule was Rob Anderson's third and final selection.  The cafe is an express offshoot of the original Kamehachi, an Old Town landmark that, having been established in 1967, claims to be Chicago's first sushi bar.  Like the sushi it serves the cafe is tightly compacted and efficiently built, with space enough for only two tables and a small line to form.  The counter houses a small display case for prepackaged sushi, prompting Rob to inquire of The LLC's resident produce expert and amateur botanist Nick Nikitas, "What do you think that red thing that looks like a tomato is?"  After carefully considering the variable vegetable with a learned eye Nick ventured, "maybe a radish?"

"It's a lotus root," the cashier corrected.  This was the moment my esteem for Nick's vegetable expertise diminished beyond the point of noteworthiness. Within minutes we all received our orders and when I asked for a cup of water the man behind the counter produced two prearranged cups with straws, lids, and ice. Unfortunately when we requested two more his supply had been exhausted, but still a good effort.

More than ample lighting

Real trees grow outdoors

We agreed to take our collection of teriyaki rice bowls, miso soups, and sushi out of the cafe and into one of the building's many communal dining areas. If ever The LLC made a good decision, it was this one. Our destination was the central atrium, an amphitheater that was half Crystal Palace and half Laguna Beach, lined by palm trees and watched over by a statue of a man kneeling atop a fountain. Initially we believed this man to be smiling and bathing with the use of a large canvas bag, though by meals end we decided he was a wounded old man grimacing and showering himself with cheap wine, possibly enjoying a one-man game of 'slap the bag'.

Art is meant for interpretation, or in our case, misinterpretation

"These are some really cool fake trees," said an awestruck Dan Ofman before shaming the Ofman name by sincerely adding, "...or are they real?"

"No. They're fake," Rob said, quickly discrediting any further argument and familial embarrassment Dan may have offered up.

The rice bowls were delicious, well priced and appropriately portioned for a quick lunch. The only element that detracts from their overall quality is that the meat, be it chicken or beef, was cut in chunks that would benefit from a Kirstie Alley style size reduction. Using the plastic spoon provided I struggled to get a full flavored taste of the miso soup. It was only after a fellow LLCer advised me to try a Dan Ofman vacuum mouth technique to inhale it straight our of the bowl that I was able to experience its full flavored potency, if only for a moment.

I forgot to take pictures at the beginning so try to imagine this looking much more appetizing

In the end the LLC was thoroughly satisfied with the quality and flavor of Kamehachi's products. "I'm impressed with the overall taste," Said Nikitas, who shared two varieties of sushi rolls with Rob along with their rice bowls.

"I prefer sushi with rice on the outside as opposed to seaweed," Rob said, motioning towards the rolls with his chopstick, "for the texture."

"And for the texture, too," Nikitas added, showcasing a total lack of conversational prowess and listening skills that his future Milwaukee employer is most likely ignorant of.

Kamehachi Notes:

• Absence of Dan Spira and Crisis Chris
• Table space was a factor, as individually packaged meal components required a great amount of surface area
• I wore a suit
• No free ice cream