La Cocina

"If God dwells inside us like some people say, I sure hope he likes enchiladas." - Jack Handy

Disclaimer: The appearance of God in this week's quote isn't meant to coincide symbolically with either the rise of Christ or the descent of leavened bread. The LLC is resolute in its separation of church and lunch policy (regardless of whether we eat on State St).

Readers, do you recall The Loop Lunch Club's recent visit to Pollito's Grill and Rotisserie? Of course you do. Well, then imagine there was another mexican restaurant that, outside of color scheme, was exactly the same and was located just next door at 45 N Wells. Same local artwork, same layout, same menu, only it's called La Cocina. I realize that you don't routinely visit this blog for my in depth culinary analysis so instead of copy and pasting the Pollito's post I'll treat you to a few hundred cleverly arranged words that recount The LLC experience and La Cocina. Vamanos!

Behind the wall painted to look like a classic Ofman
household beach towel you can see a woman leaving
Pollito's

The festive music and bright orange walls made sitting at La Cocina feel like being in the studio audience of a south of the border Nickelodeon game show. To keep with the youthful atmosphere I couldn't help but order an imported bottle of Mexican Coca-Cola. Congratulations are due to the branding team and Coca-Cola, for even me, a cynical, media savvy consumer tasted it and thought, "This tastes like a nostalgic bit of Americana." Did I mention La Cocina esta al lado de Pollito's? Si? Bueno. In fact, I could see inside of Pollito's from where I sat at La Cocina (right). I almost attempted this entire paragraph in spanish but decided that instead of butchering spanish vocabulary and syntax I'd stick with bending the rules of English grammar.

While the food at La Cocina is authentic the prices aren't necessarily so. As Steve "Late" Lake pointed out (after arriving late), the digital menu reflects changes that are yet to be adjusted on the physical, old school analog menu. Despite the confusion I'm glad they upgraded because I've been trying to find more ways to look at screens in my day to day life.

Godfathers Rob Anderson and Dan Ofman, along with myself, caved under the pressure of a rapidly expanding line and left the table prior to the arrival of some LLCers. "Pretty standard," said Anderson after reviewing the, well, pretty standard options. Menu items are available individually or as part of a dinner combination. I asked my colleagues what constituted a dinner and Ofman explained, "Rice and beans," and then offered some brotherly guidance, pointing out these sides were "a must." Anderson then mumbled with religious solemnity, "very important."

It's a good thing Nikitas isn't still with The LLC, or he would most
certainly have hit his head on the low end of the ceiling 

La Cocina's staff works quickly to keep the line moving. One man is engaged in a perpetual battle of logistics trying to minimize wasted space and ensure that any available surface area is utilized. His main prerogative is maintaining La Cocina's violation of maximum occupancy laws. Although he saved us from the drafty table by the door and delivered some prompt (though scarce) tortilla chips, he was understandably frustrated with our empty chairs. "Are you sure you're going to be six?" He asked several times as we waited on Late Lake and Dan "Delayed" Spira. "Isn't it tough to deal with people who are consistently late?" Asked an unnamed LLC member who had run out of slack for Late Lake's lack of timeliness.

As much as I touted The Proprietor at Taza for excellent customer service I have to credit the man behind the counter at La Cocina for an equally impressive job. What he lacked in jokes and free falafel he made up for by single handedly moving the line. Watching him multitask was poetry. His arms moved so fast it was as though he had as many as an elderly saguaro. Don't let that last analogy make you think he was a prick, though. Zing!

The food arrived right away for most of us. Fittingly, Late Lake got his last following a comment about how much he wanted to eat it. "Ask and you shall receive," said three-time guest Eric Moore. Moore went on to describe salsa as "Mexican ketchup."

Eric Moore's Morsels

"In addition to the line," Said Spira, airing his grievances, "they need something to put salsa in." I didn't try either variety of salsa. Spira was right, for I would have tried both if there were a dish to put them in. I did however get a chance to eat my enchiladas dinner, and while it was good I thought it could have been more dynamic. With so many unique ingredients I was looking for a medley of flavors and found more of a singular note. Each bite was good, but each bite was also the same. I was bored with it by the end.

Clean plates were commonplace at our table. From Dan "I'm partial to a good burrito-I love burritos" Ofman's burrito to Danny "Health Kick" Rubenstein's taco salad everyone seemed pleased with the food.

"I thought the food was good," Said Spira.

Here's an unrelated video of me throwing a couch off of a building...

Notas de La Cocina:

• My initial worries concerning the number of hipsters were unfounded. By the time we left Spira was the hippest guy there.
• "Can we note it's too loud in here?" Said Steve "Man Made" Lake as he spilled his water loudly.
• I really picked on Steve this week. Sorry buddy.

Ruby of Siam

"Good things come to those who wait. Be patient." - My fortune cookie

In the Newtown neighborhood of Sydney, Australia there are approximately 30 Thai restaurants that offer $6 lunch specials and contain the word "Thai" somewhere in their name. Thai My Shoe, Thai-Tanic, Thai-Rific, etc. I promise you, and in doing so I deny every urge and temptation my sense of humor cultivates in me, that I will not make this blog post an endless stream of cheap puns (this week) and will only use one such joke.

Anderson had this one, but I think it was meant for me

Like most of the best things America has to offer this week's Loop Lunch Club experience was made in Thailand, or at least at Ruby of Siam at 170 W Washington. Rob Anderson, the man responsible for this week's selection, stirred up some excitement among The LLC by employing the time-tested technique of combining caps lock, exclamation points, and the word "buffet" in a single email. What man could resist a "THAI BUFFET!!!!" If you check out the poll to the right (closing april 5th) you'll find I'm actually asking...Be sure to read the rest of this post to figure it out!

BLC - Bangkok Lunch Club

Ruby of Siam's greatest asset is its atmosphere. The place looks great. Despite being only 15 yards from the blustering Washington St traffic I felt tucked away in the quiet, peaceful oasis of the nation formerly known as Siam. Unlike Taza, whose decorations hardly reflected the culture of its cuisine; Ruby of Siam developed their cultural motif to a level that prompted Dan Ofman to state upon arrival, "What a nice setting." Statuettes and backlit traditional prints balanced the more modern, though equally tranquil presence of the digital slideshows that showcased the tropical landscapes of Thailand. The walls at Ruby of Siam combined all the benefits of screen savers and high school field trips to ancient art exhibits without any of the extreme boredom normally associated with the two.

Looking over the menu I noticed the numerical listing of 119 items. I quickly disregarded them all knowing full well I came for the buffet. Admittedly, I had my doubts after reading through the menu's welcome note. Could a buffet really offer dishes "prepared just the way you like them?" And if the food is going to "satisfy my every desire" should I expect to leave Ruby of Siam with a better job, a girlfriend, and a settled stomach? I was pleasantly surprised to go 1 for 3 on that. I also grew suspicious that the word "Thai" was being placed before items to make them sound more exotic than they actually were. Thai coffee? Thai iced tea? Thai custard? Are these not just coffee, iced tea, and custard? If not for the passionate warning from Anderson I would have ordered a Thai lychee and honeydew bubble drink. "I vowed never to take another sip," said a white faced Anderson with wide, watering eyes fixated on that infamous memory of imbibing that damnable bubble drink of his past.

Everyone except Ofman, including guest attendee Don "No Name" Something Or Other opted for the buffet. "I guess I'll brave it," Said No Name as he moved for the stack of plates, "and just see what happens." That's really the only appropriate attitude heading into a buffet.

It's not the size of the buffet, but the motion of the Indian Ocean
that really matters

"I will say this," said a disappointed Spira, who clearly had something more to say, "I expected a slightly larger buffet." Ruby of Siam's buffet was as short as Thailand is long (about 1,100 miles north to south) and while I agree that a buffet should provide more choices than we had available to us, quality is more important than quantity.

"The noodle dishes were better than I thought they'd be," said Anderson, fully recovered from his bubble drink relapse. "There were at least 3 or 4 good options." Honestly, one truly good option at a buffet is more than enough to exceed my expectations. That being the case, this buffet did indeed exceed. I enjoyed it, didn't feel sick, and even though some dishes were a little cold by the time I got to the table I still found the overall quality far above buffet average.

Fan Tong translates to Rice Bucket in Chinese

Fan Tong Ofman, who ordered fried rice (no onions), displayed a total lack of morality and complete disregard for buffet etiquette by demanding someone retrieve broccoli for his own personal consumption. As a brother, this brought me great shame. I found I could only cleanse myself of this dishonorable buffet behavior through perusal of the dessert section. "Doesn't look like anything special," said Spira with preternatural foresight.

Two plates with fortune cookies allow customers to control their own fate

In the end Lake was right when he said, "The buffet was the right call." Though I think he meant to say, "THE BUFFET WAS THE RIGHT CALL!!!!"

Ruby or Siam Notes:

• Dan Ofman's new credit card is shiny
• The Soup was a bowl of nightmares

Taza

"To practice five things under all circumstances constitutes perfect virtue; these five are gravity, generosity of soul, sincerity, earnestness, and kindness." - Confucius

Before The Loop Lunch Club's most recent meeting I didn't believe that any man had the moral capacity and strength of heart to embody Perfect Virtue. However, after dining at Taza at 176 N Franklin and meeting The Proprietor I've discovered a newfound faith in my fellow man. The Mediterranean grill was Steve "Just a little late" Lake's choice as The LLC2's tenth meeting site and will forever be remembered as the workplace of the most virtuous service professional we've encountered in months.

Mr. Moore places an order

Taza is directly adjacent to defending LLC Champion Perry's Deli, and like its neighbor has signs discouraging cell phone usage and advising patrons to "pull hard" on the door. I typically increase the strength with which I pull until a door opens or I tire out and, to protect my masculine ego, decide it must be locked before moving on with my life. having also met at Goodwin's just across the street The LLC is literally eating away at this block of Franklin. With two more options within range of a Tim Tebow Hail Mary (and three within a Manning throw) I'm sure we'll back for more.

Luckily for me the door was wedged open allowing easy, non ego threatening access to the restaurant. My first impression of Taza wasn't promising. The sparsely decorated walls were painted a light green color that I lauded in my review of Pollito's for cultivating a festive atmosphere but seemed out of place at Taza. Perhaps I was put off by the small bug I spied scurrying across the tile. Nobody's to blame for the bug's presence seeing as the door needed to be open to allow much needed airflow and no creature, man or bug, can resist the siren's call of fresh falafel. Despite the atmosphere I had a good feeling about the food. Taza is first and foremost a carryout spot, though the dining area can accomodate a fair amount of grizzed loop lunch veterans who know how to handle tight spaces.

The bite that solidified my
decision to order much more of these

My first contact with The Proprietor preceded the arrival of The LLC. This was a man with an accent as thick as his beard, a man who I would soon discover possessed all of Confucius's Big 5 in his eyebrows alone. Sensing my hunger and intuitively understanding the lateness to which The LLC has become accustomed the saintly figure handed me a sample falafel.

Beating the lunch rush by crucial minutes The Loop Lunch Club formed a line (a Taza Strip, if you will) at the counter and Lake sagely recommended the turkey shawarma. "The hummus is among us," mumbled return guest Eric Moore, who would go on to surprise me with a series of pretty good jokes at the table. As I was ordering, a tardy Dan Spira, Esquire, cut ahead of the long line of honest citizens in the fashion of a ruthless attorney hell-bent on spreading misery to the lives of normal people. Lawyers...am I right?

This is the point where I stop writing to watch this clip from The LLC's unofficial sponsor The Voice:
Some people want it all, others just want lunch.

"I can't decide how to go about eating this," said Jenny Sammarco, displaying an understandable mix of confusion and nerves. Making her LLC debut at a place with no clear cut silverware application technique isn't an enviable position, much like being an NBA rookie center asked to defend the league's best big men in the playoffs. We can't all be Asik.

An incredibly tasty meal. I wonder if Rob Anderson would call it the best falafel he's ever had...

The Proprietor would return to
stack them even higher

Looking at an empty bowl of lentil soup Lake announced, "I can't eat any more lentil soup." It turns out he wasn't just out of soup, but was also "ridiculously full." At this point The Proprietor returned with a basket of falafel and explained his policy of delivering one falafel every five minutes. He went on to point out I'd been there nearly an hour and thus he felt a need to keep 'em coming. "Very, very, very hot!" He warned of the falafel that, much like him, appeared crunchy on the outside but was incredibly warm, earnest, and sincere on the inside.

Shoveling the hot falafel down my gullet I heard my name called out and looked up to see the familiar face of Glencoe, Illinois baseball legend Luke Sundheim. Sundheim quickly and deservingly mocked me for being underdressed and went on his way. Normally I'd be mad, but I'll forever be in debt to him for his generous strike zone during the 1997 house league baseball playoffs. "Strike three!" He yelled across the diamond following a ball that was clearly high and inside. This left all three opposing base-runners to hang their heads in shame as my teammates mobbed me on the mound. We would go on to lose the next game.

As The LLC rose to leave, already more than satisfied, The Proprietor stopped us for one more exhibition of generosity. Baklava appeared on the table as if from nothingness. The Proprietor kindly said, with sincerity, earnestness, and the utmost gravity, "We'd love to see you here again." It would be perfectly virtuous of us to return.

Flaky, crunchy, chewy, sweet, and it travels well. Now that's what I call Baklava.

Taza Notes:

• Absence of Rob Anderson
• Really cool old school punch clock for employees
• Zero Mentions of Rubenstein and Dan Ofman this week.

Encore

"It has been well documented that great white sharks prefer brisket over bacon." - George Burgess

The LLC, more like The LL FanCy

The ninth meeting of The Loop Lunch Club's second season was held this past Thursday at Encore, a stylish restaurant in the lobby of the Allegro Hotel at 171 W Randolph. Danny "White Snake" Rubenstein had selected this week's spot and emailed the group informing each of us to dress business casual and arrive at "11:45 sharp." When someone who just returned from an esteemed international karaoke competition in Japan tells me to look good and be somewhere "sharp" my expectations are heightened for both quality, and with less enthusiasm, price.

Dedicated reader(s) will recall The LLC's trip to Petro's and Rob Anderson's astonished reaction to the neon martini glass he spied out the window. That neon martini belongs to Encore, a restaurant that is the antithesis of Petro's. Encore will undoubtedly be the most modern and chic LLC experience of the season. Evidence for this can be seen in the phrase "Lunch Club and Liquid Lounge" that appeared on the snakeskin bound menus. I'm confident no other restaurant we patronize will be built around a circular bar that offers $400 bottles of wine.

Not your typical table

LLC Godfathers Anderson, Dan Spira, and Dan Ofman arrived on time and took seats at our strangely shaped corner booth. "Nice nook," said Anderson of the table whose shape resembled the body type of Blinky, the infamous leader of the Pac-Man ghosts. Waters and diet Pepsis were placed atop copious cocktail napkins. Despite having so many coaster options within arms reach I'm sad to report that neither Ofman or Anderson respect wood.

My busy schedule of once weekly blog posting and daily deep-dish consumption doesn't leave much time for television, but I'm well apprised of TV happenings anyway. Ten minutes with this trio and you'll get your fill of The Voice (and the experience of being a guest on The View). Honestly, not a minute passed before The Voice discussion broke out. "Blah blah blah," said one. "Blah blah blah," said another. This engaging discourse was brought to an end by the arrival of a jeans and sweatshirt wearing Bert and Ernie duo, 15 very sharp minutes late. With the full group in attendance the menu was reviewed. I was surprised by the variety and the reasonable prices. Using a popular terminology, the menu's "big 3" were the brisket, the pork, and the beef tenderloin. "The brisket is the far superior sandwich," said Steve "Great White" Lake. He went on to describe it as, "legendary."

Stick this in your business
casual and smoke it. Editors Note:
I wore a suit for unrelated purposes and
my neck isn't quite as thin as it appears here

The service at Encore will hurt its chances come tournament time. It was slow and often ineffective. Anderson's much discussed and highly anticipated wasabi coleslaw was mistakenly served as a side of fresh fruit and there was an unordered chicken salad brought to the table. I'll remind you of our Big 3 and let you decide if those items belonged on our plates. Refills were few and far between, but I will admit they knew how to refill in style. "That was astounding," I said to Anderson after his diet Pepsi was refilled from a pitcher. He and I both opened our mouths to stop the server thinking he'd be pouring water, only to find pepsi emerge from the ewer. Our eyes widened in disbelief like children unaware that there were really two people in that box and those legs wiggling independently from the head of the lovely assistant belonged to a fully intact and totally separate individual hiding in the other half of the box.

"This lunch has taken a turn for the better," said Great White Lake as the food was served. I think it's safe to say lunch always gets better with food (except perhaps at Petro's). My BBQ pork was tangy and tasty. It didn't melt in my mouth, which is fine because it's pork and I enjoy chewing it. I regretted my order when I realized I was wearing a tie and thus would have to engage my sandwich with the civility of someone better accustomed to a business casual lifestyle. In retrospect a Costanzian usage of the knife and fork may have classed it up a bit.

The Great White Lake feasts on a lowly salmon

Somebody's sandwich

"Wow, soft!"

"Good coleslaw," said Spira with an evil smirk on his face to a still coleslaw deprived Anderson. Rubenstein enjoyed his slaw employing the technique of dipping his house made chips into it. On a scale of Berghoff Chips to Perfect Chips these definitely registered on the Perfect end of the spectrum.

The general feeling amongst The LLC was that the sandwiches were great and whether you're a carnivorous marine predator or a guy on his lunch break wearing a tie you're going to enjoy you're brisket, pork, or tenderloin. Just as the meal was coming to a close our check was set down along with an encore performance (had to do it once, sorry) of 6 fresh chocolate chip cookies (right).

Encore Notes:

• Minimum Valet fee at The Allegro Hotel: $19 for under 2 hours
• One of the male staff members had a pony tail
• I didn't make any jokes aimed directly at Dan Ofman, and trust me I could have, because I knew he'd be embarrassed thoroughly in this video. He thought the boulder was unsafe for me to sit on. For a believer in mind over matter, I'm scoring this one 10-7 in favor of matter...

Ronny's Steakhouse

"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost." - J. R. R. Tolkien

It wasn't the fiery depths of mount doom but rather the crowded escalators of the Thompson Center that brought about the wandering of The Loop Lunch Fellowship this past Monday. Our efforts to locate Ronny's Steakhouse at 100 W Randolph for the 8th meeting of The LLC resulted in what will surely go down as the exception that proves the rule: Steve "Mr. Punctuality" Lake was the first and only member of The LLC to arrive on time.

I'm writing this from seat 26F, 37,000 feet above the sprawling farmland of the Great Plains en route to fabulous Tucson, Arizona. I hope to finish before we land, otherwise I'll never be able to post this entry. What happens in Tucson, stays in Tucson. With this window seat view above the clouds I'm afforded a new perspective on life and on lunch. Suddenly, the fact that my $7.95 steak special was upped to $14.00 by adding bacon, sour cream, and cheese to my baked potato no longer seems like an injustice worthy of being upset over. However, $6.00 worth of fixins had a predictably upsetting effect on my stomach.

This is actually a Domino's thin
crust corner piece

"If you finish that (potato)," said Dan Ofman, "you won't wake up tomorrow." Rob Anderson then piled on the challenge by observing, "there are more condiments than potato." I'm just glad nobody made me hold it up beside my head for a size comparison. This has happened before with embarrassing results (right).

Ronny's is a cafeteria style restaurant with a dark wood trim and chic olive green leather booths with backrests reaching 6 feet above ground. The elegance of these interior design elements is far overshadowed by the buckets of rib tips and endless placards advertising daily specials. Ronny's menu is a lot like kindergarten, everyone is special. The entire surface area of the non-dining space is wallpapered in signs for specials. It's like an overly informative driving range with distance markers every yard. Only here instead of golf balls you're driving country-fried steak, polish sausages, and severely overloaded baked potatoes down your throat and the signs help you gauge your distance not from a pin, but from oncoming heart attacks.

Just one of the clusters of specials signs at Ronny's

The man behind the counter, possibly Ronny himself based on his enthusiasm, was friendly though unable to turn off his sense of urgency. Despite accounting for 100% of the line The LLC was rushed through the ordering process. I'm certain I missed out on something special.

Some of the healthy options Ronny's offers

Before Dan Ofman began a thirty-minute sales pitch on a business plan to garner "instant millions" sometime in the distant future Rob "Steak Sauce" Anderson presented me with Ronny's own brand of steak sauce, which was liberally applied across the table. I wasn't very pleased with my steak. Of the 8 ounces that constituted it prior to cooking I'd estimate 1 oz. was cooked off, 1 oz. was bone, and 1 oz. was unchewable lard. "My cut of steak is too fatty to bite through," said Steak Sauce Anderson. Continuing with the negativity I'll point out my chef's side salad was drenched in ranch and only had 1 crouton. However, my potato was a real winner. Mounds of melted cheddar and bacon bits smothered in sour cream is a hard recipe to screw up. Come to think of it, I don't remember the potato even being present on the plate.

There's a potato in there somewhere, I'm almost certain of it

"There's too much gravy," said Dan Ofman of his Country Fried Steak (special). None of these shortcomings bothered Lake, a steakhouse of a man to begin with. "This is an early contender," said the satisfied rookie. "I can see us coming back here." I'll assume he meant "us" as in "Rubenstein and I."

As we finished eating it was brought to my attention that I had unknowlingly polished off my entire baked potato. I reacted to this news by stating, "Just thinking about sitting up straight right now is an exhaustive and straining activity."

Needless to say, it was a special experience.

Ronny's Notes

• Absence of Dan Spira and Danny Rubenstein due to crises.
• I wouldn't want to meet the person who gets to Ronny's before 11AM to take advantage of the "Breakfast Bonanza" special.
• Dan Ofman hit a three point shot in his most recent recreational men's league basketball game, proving he was one of the top five athletes in his graduating class.

Belden Deli, Restaurant, and Catering

"From overeating one suffers more than from not eating enough."
"Troubles with soup is easier than troubles without soup." - Yiddish Proverbs

Belden Deli's counter, featuring the same
guy we saw at Pittsfield Cafe, I'm pretty sure

Although it's impossible to debate the validity of the latter proverb The Loop Lunch Club did its best to dispute the former by putting the Gras in Mardi Gras this past Tuesday at Belden Deli on the 3rd floor of the Maller Building at 5 S Wabash. I entered the tucked away diner style restaurant utterly naive of my surroundings. I didn't know the name of the restaurant, I didn't recall it was Fat Tuesday, and it wasn't until I heard the waitress ask another table if they wanted "French fries or potato pancakes?" that I realized I was in a Jewish deli. This was a lot to process all at once, though it did explain the sensory disconnect between the blues station blaring and the scent of a lox platter and matzo balls wafting across the dining room.

I wonder if they still argue in
public fountains?

I was seated at a hybrid of a table and a booth that inspired an internal shouting match not unlike the classic "Great taste vs Less filling" feuds of early 2000s commercial lore (right), only mine managed to pack even more sex appeal in with only half the cleavage. The host, a kind man whose shirt undoubtedly was purchased at a Seinfeld memorabilia auction as part of the Cosmo Kramer Collection, took a seat with a regular at a nearby table and engaged him in a pleasant discussion about the customer's children's scholastic achievements. The lone waitress had the look of an aged country singer, if not the accent, and was patient and welcoming, wearing boots with ample fur to keep her feet warm at far greater altitudes that three stories.

In the brief period before The LLC arrived I considered what I might give up for Lent:
-Jokes at the expense of Dan Spira
-My 'no club sandiwches' policy
-Nicknames in quotation marks
-Cheap puns
Don't worry readers, I would never give up the foundational elements of this blog.

Our Hybrid booth/table. "I like the upstairs aspect," said Anderson of the view
overlooking the Madison/Wabash station

A brief iPhone search revealed that Belden Deli failed a health inspection no more than 45 days prior to The LLC visit. This didn't bother me at all considering my own kitchen doesn't pass my personal inspection and my food sanitation standards are as minimal as my standards for proper punctuation",

When The LLC was fully seated we congratulated Rob "Ball'n'Chain" Anderson on his recent engagement. Anderson ordered the jambalaya AND the gumbo, displaying his newfound love of commitment by taking the plunge into an all Mardi Gras meal. He was confident he had made the right choice in his order and his proposal. Much like our waitress he would not get cold feet.

Once all the food was set down a melee of tasting broke out reminiscent of the feast Robin Williams had when he remembered how to use his imagination in 'Hook'. "You know the sign of a good restaurant?" Dan Ofman said as plates zipped through the air like cars in 'The Fifth Element,' maximizing our sharing efficiency. "When everyone wants to try each other's food." Ofman would go on to praise his fries as "great" and my omelet as "outstanding." Meanwhile I couldn't eat for several minutes because my jaw had dropped so severely after Dan Ofman opted for Lunch instead of Breakfast that I physically had to push my mouth closed with both hands. Ofman later commented that his sandwich was his least favorite part of the meal because "the corned beef was soggy."

"My pastrami (above) was solid," said Spira. He would later clarify he meant 'solid' as in the lexicon
 of the '70s and, much like Ofman's sandwich, his was somewhat soggy. Not pictured - apple sauce and sour cream.

While I struggled with my facial reconstruction Dan Spira explained the history of the potato pancake to Anderson. "It's a pretty Jewish thing," he said, succinctly summarizing and paraphrasing the Old Testament as only a devout Talmudic student is wont to. "I probably won't eat the sour cream," Rabbi Spira elaborated with wild gesticulations of the hands and arms. He then sipped his diet coke to soothe the rarely used throat muscles needed to properly explain Jewish cuisine.

My omelet was very good. The eggs were fluffy, it was tolerably greasy, and the ingredients inside were plentiful enough to have a noticeable effect on flavor without overwhelming one another. However, the aspect I liked most of the omelet experience was the ordering. Unlike most "build your own omelet" menu options Belden didn't charge by the ingredient and instead allowed me as many fillings as I wanted without racking up $.75 charges. It was refreshing for a restaurant to trust that I wouldn't abuse the system. After all, who needs more than a cheese, a meat, and a vegetable?

"This could be a dark horse," Dan Ofman whispered to me as we exited. God willing.

Worth a second look

An open letter to the LLC:

The Loop Lunch Club was formed for a purpose: To find the best lunch in the loop. Since our inception we've slowly lost sight of our goal, settling for more and more storefront cafes, corporate chains, and social network abusing fad food start-ups instead of digging deeper and looking for those hidden gems of the downtown world. Walking into Belden Deli, without any idea how the food would taste, my passion for The LLC was reignited. These 3rd floor treasures are out there, just waiting for us to find them. Let's search out the unknown. Let's find more unassuming, long-standing restaurants with coffee machines older than I am and dishes that have been washed as many times as I've blinked. We can do better. We will do better. Let's get some lunch.

Belden Notes:

• I spent far too long looking for Jewish food quotes and jokes today. My safari history reads like a bibliography for a report on Milton Berle.
• Belden seemed to do a nice carryout business
• There was sink in the middle of the dining room for maximum hygeine.
• Absence of Steve "Cabo San" Lake and Danny "36 hour work day" Rubenstein

Hot Woks Cool Sushi

"I'd like to see the Japanese take on the club sandwich. I bet it's smaller and more efficient." - Marge Simpson

Some Basho influenced haiku to kick us off this week...

Grey skies                         Satisfied                                    Spira
Hungry men devour            On Michigan Avenue                  So much more than
The Loop                           Bento Box                                 A gentleman

At 30 S Michigan Avenue - nestled between two shops that specialize in selling overpriced novelty beer shirts to morons - is Hot Woks Cool Sushi, Dan Spira's selection as the 6th LLC2 location. Having skipped dinner the previous night I arrived early in hopes of sitting down for a light sushi appetizer to tide me over until lunch. However, I was told I couldn't be seated without the rest of The Loop Lunch Club and so allowed the rhythmic growling of my empty stomach to slowly lure me into blissful unconsciousness (see below).

(I considered making a comparison between my hunger and discomfort and that of Louis Zamperini, but there's no way to do that where I don't come out looking bad)

After snapping back to reality I discovered, through a thorough perusal of the carryout menu, that Hot Woks is conducting an ongoing effort to minimize their carbon footprint by using sugar and starch based substitutes for their plastic containers. Unfortunately they also double the amount of energy used to wash cutlery by providing unsolicited forks to customers such as myself, who possess the sure handed motor skills necessary for chopstick competency. While the menu discussed Hot Woks' effort to go green it failed to offer me the chance to save green through the standard lunch box special I'm accustomed to seeing at Japanese restaurants.

I should have been sitting here for a while

"I'm seeing a lot of 180s today," said an emotionally taxed and blog-bitter Dan Spira upon entering. Spira would forego ordering avocado rolls at this outing but claims it wasn't a premeditated omission. The original LLC members were seated in the back section of Hot Woks while we waited on Bert and Ernie to arrive. Given how hungry I was as well as my family history of befriending sushi chefs I truly regretted missing my chance to wait at the sushi bar for the preceding half hour.

Hot Woks Cool Sushi stresses a multicultural atmosphere of flavor and art in both the kitchen and the decor. The balanced philosophy of the yin yang symbol is on display everywhere from the logo to the soy sauce dishes to the blended Oriental products cooked up hot (or cool) and fresh each day.  Along the walls are various paintings by who I assume to be local artists, each listed under a different gallery heading. Among the paintings is a longwinded definition (including dictionary pronunciation guide)  for the term "cultural evolution." Personally, I would build my philosophy around a term less reminiscent of Mao Zedong, though the only great leap forward I made during lunch was lunging across the table for a spicy tuna roll.

If you wear glasses, I suggest looking at this photo without
them to see if it's any clearer

At the table Rob Anderson picked up a specials menu. "Lunch menu?" He said, "This could be right up my alley." Sure enough, the lunch box special did exist and I would go on to order the Chicken Teriyaki Bento Box. Once our orders were placed Danny Rubenstein and Steve "Late" Lake arrived and as usual began complaining about location.

"Shocking speed!" Said Spira as plates of chicken (hot) and sushi (cool) were placed on the table. Dan Ofman's fried rice dish brought about a positive reaction from Lake. "Nice presentation," said the defending champion of the Ofman Invitational Golf Scramble (4th annual coming this summer).

So many options in just one Bento Box!

I find that meals like this always satisfy me. Perhaps it's the constant craving I have for teriyaki and sushi, or maybe it's because there are so many options on my plate, but I simply can't slow down when eating this stuff. The Asian style slaw was crunchy and creamy, the tempura crisp, and the chicken to sauce ratio was perfect after the addition of some steamed rice. Speaking about the quality of his eel roll Anderson said, "It has a sort of fishy aftertaste." Oddly enough, my rice had a rice like aftertaste, too.

Between polarizing discussions of The Voice (with Anderson) and upcoming MMA fight cards (with Rubenstein, who I noticed engaging in pretty enthusiastic chair dancing when "I'm Every Woman" came on) Dan Ofman stated that he felt his food was better suited for dinner than lunch. Spira quickly observed that Ofman simply doesn't understand which foods are meant to be consumed during which meals and suggested that Ofman "order a denver omelet." Joke of the day, I thought.

Great choice Spira!

Hot Woks Notes:

• Spira's diet Coke was served in a can (no refills) and with a straw (I consider myself pretty childlike and even I have outgrown straws).
• Insane amount of parenthetical asides today.
• Guest appearance from Eric Moore. I didn't hear a word he said but I think he called me Tim.