The Berghoff

"The feeling of friendship is like that of being comfortably filled with roast beef; love, like being enlivened with champagne." - Samuel Johnson

Being a team player I felt compelled to make an unsanctioned visit to The Berghoff without the other members of The LLC.  But, showcasing the utmost class, the Dans of The LLC volunteered to accompany me back to the site of the first week's meeting.

 

Arriving a few minutes ahead of schedule I began to appreciate the sense of history that passerby displayed as they stopped to take in the aura of the restaurant.  In fact, a group of Italian tourists were so impressed with the storefront that they felt inclined to walk by in both directions. Twice.  Upon entering I immediately felt as though I didn't fit in.  Mostly this was due to the heel of my sandal becoming wedged under the door, literally not letting me fit into the restaurant.  Once inside I was overcome by the sense that I wasn't in a restaurant, but rather a bank.  Portraits of old white-haired men looked down on me as I waited in line to make a roast beef withdrawal from an androgynous, knife wielding teller.  From there I was directed to wait once more for a sloth like, old white-haired bartender to serve me a glass of water.

Neither of the Dans made any positive comments concerning their roast turkey, corned beef, mashed potatoes or spinach.  However, that didn't stop Dan Ofman from consuming the second half of his sandwich using his patented "vacuum mouth" technique.

"I look stupid," said a remorseful, full mouthed Ofman 

Though my roast beef did leave me comfortably fill I failed to experience the champagne induced feelings of love and friendship that Mr. Johnson so eloquently described above.  My side of Berghoff chips, unfortunately, could not be cashed in. Unlike the previous outing's falafel these cottage style fries were crispy on the outside and crispier on the inside. That's too crispy.

The best any of us could say was "Not bad."  Not bad means not good, which is how I imagine The Berghoff will fare come bracket time.

Berghoff Notes:

• A dangerous discrepancy between stool leg lengths resulted in a reflexive display of balancing prowess that simultaneously stalled conversation and saved The Berghoff from a costly legal battle in which I'd have been represented by The LLC's very own Dan Spira, Esquire, who is kept on retainer.
• Discussion of the poor carry out potential as well as yet another conversation involving feeling uncomfortable on a boat. Perhaps an every week point of interest? I hope not.
• A post meal trip was held by the two Ofmans to scout the as of yet unannounced location for the next meeting of The LLC.  It looks quite good.