The Bracket

"Argument is meant to reveal the truth, not to create it." - Edward de Bono

What are we, the men of The LLC, if not seekers of the truth? Yes, we have laughed and cavorted over our lunches these past few months, joking and punning through stuffed faces and diet coke stained incisors. And yes, that was Rob Anderson you saw skipping through the loop enjoying the 'out of the office' sunshine. Yet we remain The LLC and we mean business. We neither eat light nor take our eating lightly. We dine in yet take our meals to go in our minds. Food for thought? No. Food is thought. We set out hungry and sixteen restaurants later our stomachs are sated. Only our endless craving to find the loop's best lunch remains unsatisfied. The time has come to uncover the true champion of The Loop Lunch Club's second tour.

This past week The LLC returned to Maxim's Restaurant to conduct a random drawing for our tournament bracket. In the presence of our beautiful waitress, who smiled at me while asking if she should refill my coffee and seemed unsure of whether I said "nyet" or "not yet," we produced the following results:

Soon, once the brotherhood of The Loop Lunch Club completes a digestive hiatus and has taken ample time to cultivate unbiased, objective perspectives, we shall reconvene. We will argue, not to create truth but to reveal it. After all, there is no sweeter lunch than a sandwich of unsalted truth dripping with melted honesty and the juices of justice. Unless of course, that sandwich comes with a side of Chris Hartemayer approved fries.

I Dream of Falafel

"I am invariably late for appointments." - Marilyn Monroe

The Loop Lunch Club's second tour held its final meeting this past Wednesday at I Dream of Falafel at 117 W Monroe. I was a few minutes late, but seeing as Marilyn was invariably late I can rest assured knowing my fellow LLCers aren't the only people to have waited on Monroe.

The LLC was out of their chairs and moving towards the counter before I had exited the revolving doors. "Why the rush?" I asked myself. "Are we trying to catch a matinee screening of 'Love, Actually' today?" It turned out that falafel connoisseur Rob Anderson, who teamed with fellow LLC Godfather Dan "Spoiler Alert" Spira in selecting this week's location, possesses an ability to predict lines usually reserved for sports bookies and obnoxious moviegoers.

All the way to the door the entire time we were there.

We beat the traffic, but as a result I was significantly unprepared to order. At the front of the line I received some last minute guidance from Anderson, who praised the chicken as "their best plate." Still, I found myself being asked what I'd like while still struggling to pocket my headphones and find a place to stow away my new sunglasses (these would later be tried on by all LLC members with mass approval. "Everyone looks great in these," said one LLC member). When I finally recovered the wherewithal to look at the menu I caught sight of the "All In Platter," and, knowing this to be the ultimate LLC outing of the season I had no choice but to put all my chips, fries, cole slaw, and various other side dishes on the line. Both Spira and I went all in, but he took it to the next level when we reached the vegetable selection. With a regal upward facing palm he slowly motioned over his kingdom of cucumber, lettuce, tomato, cabbage, and multiple mystery vegetables and told the girl "I'll have, uh...everything."

I really put a lot of effort into the photography this week

The staff, while friendly, fell well short of the customer service standard set by The Proprietor of the home of The LLC's last falafel frenzy, Taza. What I Dream of Falafel lacked in overly generous, somewhat insane looking bearded patriarchs they made up for in providing museum like levels of hygiene. Several times during the meal I took note of the the extremely sanitary surroundings and had to remind myself I wasn't at the planetarium or Field Museum cafeteria.

Another example of excellent camera work

No time was wasted as the group immediately went to work at the table. "You did a much better job of filling that than I did," Spira said, admiring Anderson's propensity (or is it proclivity?) for pita packing. Pita problems left much room for improvement at I Dream of Falafel. A warmer, thicker, more flavorful pita could have made a good lunch into a great one. It's this type of missed opportunity that makes a difference come tournament time.

Going all in was the right decision. My platter was an endless heap of delicious meats and fresh vegetables. Unlike the single note flavor experience I stomached at La Cocina I found that each bite of my lunch was unique based on the type of meat I happened to be shoveling down my falafel hole. "It's good," said Spira of his falafel, "but it's not blowing my mind." Mind blowing falafel seems like a lot to ask for. I don't think my mind has been sufficiently blown since the first time I saw The Matrix.

The All In Platter, also pictured: New Shades (upper left)

Looking down at his All In Platter Spira wondered aloud if, out of context, anyone would be able to identify what it was actually comprised of. Dan Ofman explained, "When you go all in, you don't always know what you're getting." I would later return this nugget of wisdom in the form a sarcastic barb, prompting Ofman to reconsider his stance. "That doesn't make any sense," he reasoned, "you know exactly what you're getting. It says so on the menu."

LLC Tournament Update...

Anderson, seen here pondering the merits of an LLC Tournament
ranking system

With another 16 restaurants under our belts (and possibly expanding said belts) it is time to plan the second Loop Lunch Club Tournament. Scheduling is expected to be a series of Hartemayer-esque crises, so keep checking for updates. A tentative bracket selection ceremony is penciled in for Wednesday, May 23rd. Brackets and information on how to order LLC merchandise will be disseminated as they arise.

I Dream of Falafel Notes:

• Absence of Steve Lake due to crisis and Danny Rubenstein due to absence of Steve Lake.
• Rob "Sign My Emails With Initials" Anderson had monogrammed cuffs (above)
• Following the lead of Dan Spira The LLC gathered outside after the meal and one by one raised a celebratory fist of camaraderie and accomplishment, though it took some peer pressure to get RBA involved (below)

Siam Rice

"Romantic and entertaining...for older teens." - Film critic Nell Minow on 'Love, Actually'

The last time The Loop Lunch Club indulged in Thai cuisine I limited myself to only one 'thai' based pun: Rubens-thai-n. Danny "Hugh Grant" Rubenstein was quick to point out my inaccuracy, stating the correct pronunciation is Rubens-teen. This, appropriately, makes him the oldest teen I know and therefore part of the proper demographic for his all time favorite Rom-Com, 'Love, Actually'.

Falling in line with the popular colloquialism "Once you go Thai, you never go awry" The LLC met for the penultimate lunch of our seemingly all Asian cuisine themed second tour this past Wednesday at Siam Rice at 117 N Wells. Steve "Late" Lake made this week's selection and, in being reliably late, left the on time Ofman brothers with the opportunity to both absorb the surprisingly chic ambiance of Siam Rice while also grumbling incessantly about our fellow Late Lunch Clubbers.

"Notice the lateness of everybody," Dan "Fan Tong" Ofman said to me as I looked out past the bar seating at the tranquil, low hanging conic light fixtures. "Disappointed in the promptness," continued Rice Bucket Ofman as I took note of the autographed posters of several critically acclaimed stage productions, including Broadway mainstays like The Lion King, Wicked, and Bring It On - The Musical! Also hanging at Siam Rice were multiple "bless this mess" suburban kitchen decor wooden signs that I would never have associated with Thai food. Then again, who am I to question a 2003 "Thai Select" honoree (below).

Coincidence they were awarded the same year Love, Actually hit theaters? Also wondering, is this as prestigious as Baker's Square's plaque from the American Pie Council?

I tried to explain how I, being the life of the party, should be
allowed to sit right away, but it was lost in translation

Eventually, after much waiting (left), The LLC got a chance to sit down and check out the menu. Like most Thai menus the dishes are numbered to eliminate the childish giggling of immature Americans who can't keep a straight face when ordering items like Phuket Noodles (#35). "I feel compelled to order a chef's recommendation," Said Dan Spira as he rolled his sleeves up, and then quickly back down following a breeze from the door. It was right about the time the spring rolls hit the table that Danny "Preview Popcorn" Rubenstein made his first undetected and unappreciated reference to 'Love, Actually.'  The spring roles were about as bland and predictable as Rubenstein's mainstream taste in movies.

With the extra week of anticipation between LLC outings there was plenty of time for experienced Siam Rice patrons to tout the unsurpassed speed in which dishes were prepared and served. I could have written this blog post in the time we waited. "They're off their game," said Late Lake. "Definitely off their game," echoed special guest Soandso Deli? (I have no idea what this guy's name is). The expected wait time of 7.5 minutes, decided on through an extended email chain, was surpassed by a large margin. This didn't sit well with Spira, who, staring at me with hungry eyes stated, "20 minutes..."

Looks like caramel, right?

Food finally arrived for all but Late Lake and myself, who were left to pine for our pineapple fried rice as the others dug in. This extra waiting didn't curry favor for a positive review. As always, that pun was intended. As I waited our waitress returned and asked if there was anything else we needed. "I think they still need their food," Rubenstein said, removing all doubt concerning whether my lunch would be spit in.

Notice the chunks on the side

"Ryan Gosling," I heard Late Lake say out of context, "what a babe!" Before I could inquire my food arrived to a chorus of rave presentation reviews. "That's a big mound of rice," said Spira, who in sitting next to me in a somewhat loud restaurant has been quoted a ton this week. He went on to call my addition of peanut sauce to the fried rice a "smart move." I would have preferred the pineapple chunks to be mixed into the rice but that was an easily remedied demerit that was more than overcome by the positive response I had to finding cashews in the mound of rice. "It's tart and amusing, but carries a slightly cloying aftertaste," I thought to myself of my lunch, which is strange because that's the same thing film critic Judith Egerton said of 'Love, Actually.'

"Pretty good," Rice Bucket Ofman said of his onion-free rice, "I'm enjoying it." Chewing his bendy straw and looking at the satisfied faces of The LLC he further observed, "A lot of clean plates today."

When asked if he had a passing infatuation with Thai food Rubenstein
replied, "No, it's love, actually"

Siam Rice Notes:

• After punning that Rubenstein's wealth of pop culture knowledge warranted the nickname "Googlestein" Dan Ofman pointed out that he's been on fire with his jokes the last two weeks.
• Absence of Godfather Rob "Too Busy, Forgot" Anderson due to lack of prioritizing.
• Chop sticks on request only.
• Rubenstein must have used the word "zing" approximately 12 thai-mes.