Belden Deli, Restaurant, and Catering

"From overeating one suffers more than from not eating enough."
"Troubles with soup is easier than troubles without soup." - Yiddish Proverbs

Belden Deli's counter, featuring the same
guy we saw at Pittsfield Cafe, I'm pretty sure

Although it's impossible to debate the validity of the latter proverb The Loop Lunch Club did its best to dispute the former by putting the Gras in Mardi Gras this past Tuesday at Belden Deli on the 3rd floor of the Maller Building at 5 S Wabash. I entered the tucked away diner style restaurant utterly naive of my surroundings. I didn't know the name of the restaurant, I didn't recall it was Fat Tuesday, and it wasn't until I heard the waitress ask another table if they wanted "French fries or potato pancakes?" that I realized I was in a Jewish deli. This was a lot to process all at once, though it did explain the sensory disconnect between the blues station blaring and the scent of a lox platter and matzo balls wafting across the dining room.

I wonder if they still argue in
public fountains?

I was seated at a hybrid of a table and a booth that inspired an internal shouting match not unlike the classic "Great taste vs Less filling" feuds of early 2000s commercial lore (right), only mine managed to pack even more sex appeal in with only half the cleavage. The host, a kind man whose shirt undoubtedly was purchased at a Seinfeld memorabilia auction as part of the Cosmo Kramer Collection, took a seat with a regular at a nearby table and engaged him in a pleasant discussion about the customer's children's scholastic achievements. The lone waitress had the look of an aged country singer, if not the accent, and was patient and welcoming, wearing boots with ample fur to keep her feet warm at far greater altitudes that three stories.

In the brief period before The LLC arrived I considered what I might give up for Lent:
-Jokes at the expense of Dan Spira
-My 'no club sandiwches' policy
-Nicknames in quotation marks
-Cheap puns
Don't worry readers, I would never give up the foundational elements of this blog.

Our Hybrid booth/table. "I like the upstairs aspect," said Anderson of the view
overlooking the Madison/Wabash station

A brief iPhone search revealed that Belden Deli failed a health inspection no more than 45 days prior to The LLC visit. This didn't bother me at all considering my own kitchen doesn't pass my personal inspection and my food sanitation standards are as minimal as my standards for proper punctuation",

When The LLC was fully seated we congratulated Rob "Ball'n'Chain" Anderson on his recent engagement. Anderson ordered the jambalaya AND the gumbo, displaying his newfound love of commitment by taking the plunge into an all Mardi Gras meal. He was confident he had made the right choice in his order and his proposal. Much like our waitress he would not get cold feet.

Once all the food was set down a melee of tasting broke out reminiscent of the feast Robin Williams had when he remembered how to use his imagination in 'Hook'. "You know the sign of a good restaurant?" Dan Ofman said as plates zipped through the air like cars in 'The Fifth Element,' maximizing our sharing efficiency. "When everyone wants to try each other's food." Ofman would go on to praise his fries as "great" and my omelet as "outstanding." Meanwhile I couldn't eat for several minutes because my jaw had dropped so severely after Dan Ofman opted for Lunch instead of Breakfast that I physically had to push my mouth closed with both hands. Ofman later commented that his sandwich was his least favorite part of the meal because "the corned beef was soggy."

"My pastrami (above) was solid," said Spira. He would later clarify he meant 'solid' as in the lexicon
 of the '70s and, much like Ofman's sandwich, his was somewhat soggy. Not pictured - apple sauce and sour cream.

While I struggled with my facial reconstruction Dan Spira explained the history of the potato pancake to Anderson. "It's a pretty Jewish thing," he said, succinctly summarizing and paraphrasing the Old Testament as only a devout Talmudic student is wont to. "I probably won't eat the sour cream," Rabbi Spira elaborated with wild gesticulations of the hands and arms. He then sipped his diet coke to soothe the rarely used throat muscles needed to properly explain Jewish cuisine.

My omelet was very good. The eggs were fluffy, it was tolerably greasy, and the ingredients inside were plentiful enough to have a noticeable effect on flavor without overwhelming one another. However, the aspect I liked most of the omelet experience was the ordering. Unlike most "build your own omelet" menu options Belden didn't charge by the ingredient and instead allowed me as many fillings as I wanted without racking up $.75 charges. It was refreshing for a restaurant to trust that I wouldn't abuse the system. After all, who needs more than a cheese, a meat, and a vegetable?

"This could be a dark horse," Dan Ofman whispered to me as we exited. God willing.

Worth a second look

An open letter to the LLC:

The Loop Lunch Club was formed for a purpose: To find the best lunch in the loop. Since our inception we've slowly lost sight of our goal, settling for more and more storefront cafes, corporate chains, and social network abusing fad food start-ups instead of digging deeper and looking for those hidden gems of the downtown world. Walking into Belden Deli, without any idea how the food would taste, my passion for The LLC was reignited. These 3rd floor treasures are out there, just waiting for us to find them. Let's search out the unknown. Let's find more unassuming, long-standing restaurants with coffee machines older than I am and dishes that have been washed as many times as I've blinked. We can do better. We will do better. Let's get some lunch.

Belden Notes:

• I spent far too long looking for Jewish food quotes and jokes today. My safari history reads like a bibliography for a report on Milton Berle.
• Belden seemed to do a nice carryout business
• There was sink in the middle of the dining room for maximum hygeine.
• Absence of Steve "Cabo San" Lake and Danny "36 hour work day" Rubenstein

Hot Woks Cool Sushi

"I'd like to see the Japanese take on the club sandwich. I bet it's smaller and more efficient." - Marge Simpson

Some Basho influenced haiku to kick us off this week...

Grey skies                         Satisfied                                    Spira
Hungry men devour            On Michigan Avenue                  So much more than
The Loop                           Bento Box                                 A gentleman

At 30 S Michigan Avenue - nestled between two shops that specialize in selling overpriced novelty beer shirts to morons - is Hot Woks Cool Sushi, Dan Spira's selection as the 6th LLC2 location. Having skipped dinner the previous night I arrived early in hopes of sitting down for a light sushi appetizer to tide me over until lunch. However, I was told I couldn't be seated without the rest of The Loop Lunch Club and so allowed the rhythmic growling of my empty stomach to slowly lure me into blissful unconsciousness (see below).

(I considered making a comparison between my hunger and discomfort and that of Louis Zamperini, but there's no way to do that where I don't come out looking bad)

After snapping back to reality I discovered, through a thorough perusal of the carryout menu, that Hot Woks is conducting an ongoing effort to minimize their carbon footprint by using sugar and starch based substitutes for their plastic containers. Unfortunately they also double the amount of energy used to wash cutlery by providing unsolicited forks to customers such as myself, who possess the sure handed motor skills necessary for chopstick competency. While the menu discussed Hot Woks' effort to go green it failed to offer me the chance to save green through the standard lunch box special I'm accustomed to seeing at Japanese restaurants.

I should have been sitting here for a while

"I'm seeing a lot of 180s today," said an emotionally taxed and blog-bitter Dan Spira upon entering. Spira would forego ordering avocado rolls at this outing but claims it wasn't a premeditated omission. The original LLC members were seated in the back section of Hot Woks while we waited on Bert and Ernie to arrive. Given how hungry I was as well as my family history of befriending sushi chefs I truly regretted missing my chance to wait at the sushi bar for the preceding half hour.

Hot Woks Cool Sushi stresses a multicultural atmosphere of flavor and art in both the kitchen and the decor. The balanced philosophy of the yin yang symbol is on display everywhere from the logo to the soy sauce dishes to the blended Oriental products cooked up hot (or cool) and fresh each day.  Along the walls are various paintings by who I assume to be local artists, each listed under a different gallery heading. Among the paintings is a longwinded definition (including dictionary pronunciation guide)  for the term "cultural evolution." Personally, I would build my philosophy around a term less reminiscent of Mao Zedong, though the only great leap forward I made during lunch was lunging across the table for a spicy tuna roll.

If you wear glasses, I suggest looking at this photo without
them to see if it's any clearer

At the table Rob Anderson picked up a specials menu. "Lunch menu?" He said, "This could be right up my alley." Sure enough, the lunch box special did exist and I would go on to order the Chicken Teriyaki Bento Box. Once our orders were placed Danny Rubenstein and Steve "Late" Lake arrived and as usual began complaining about location.

"Shocking speed!" Said Spira as plates of chicken (hot) and sushi (cool) were placed on the table. Dan Ofman's fried rice dish brought about a positive reaction from Lake. "Nice presentation," said the defending champion of the Ofman Invitational Golf Scramble (4th annual coming this summer).

So many options in just one Bento Box!

I find that meals like this always satisfy me. Perhaps it's the constant craving I have for teriyaki and sushi, or maybe it's because there are so many options on my plate, but I simply can't slow down when eating this stuff. The Asian style slaw was crunchy and creamy, the tempura crisp, and the chicken to sauce ratio was perfect after the addition of some steamed rice. Speaking about the quality of his eel roll Anderson said, "It has a sort of fishy aftertaste." Oddly enough, my rice had a rice like aftertaste, too.

Between polarizing discussions of The Voice (with Anderson) and upcoming MMA fight cards (with Rubenstein, who I noticed engaging in pretty enthusiastic chair dancing when "I'm Every Woman" came on) Dan Ofman stated that he felt his food was better suited for dinner than lunch. Spira quickly observed that Ofman simply doesn't understand which foods are meant to be consumed during which meals and suggested that Ofman "order a denver omelet." Joke of the day, I thought.

Great choice Spira!

Hot Woks Notes:

• Spira's diet Coke was served in a can (no refills) and with a straw (I consider myself pretty childlike and even I have outgrown straws).
• Insane amount of parenthetical asides today.
• Guest appearance from Eric Moore. I didn't hear a word he said but I think he called me Tim. 

Pollito's Grill and Rotisserie

"Stupidity is the devil. Look in the eye of a chicken and you'll know. It's the most horrifying, cannibalistic, and nightmarish creature in this world." Werner Herzog
vs.
"Chickens are great companions. If only people knew how smart and lovable they can be." - United Poultry Concern, 'Promoting the compassionate and respectful treatment of domestic fowl.'


You be the Judge! Take a look at the following photos and decide which chicken would make a lovable companion and which embodies the term 'nightmarish creature.'

If you call yourself an American it's safe to assume you made the patriotic and entirely correct choice in selecting the photo on the right as the chicken who'd make a great companion for life. Rob Anderson made a similar choice in selecting Pollito's Grill and Rotisserie at 39 N Wells as the 5th stop in The LLC2's ongoing search for the best loop lunch in Chicago.


It felt a little eerie to be the only customer in the Mexican chicken joint on the same day I finished a novel filled with magical realism about a Mexican cafe. Was I fated to be there? Was there some force beyond this world pulling me into Pollito's? When the second customer arrived with a stack of crossword puzzles I was on the brink of fainting and only maintained consciousness by listening to the divine intervention of Faith Hill instructing me to "Just Breathe" over the speaker system.

Pollito's keeps the heart decorations up on the counter
year long to show love for their regulars.

Catching my breath and feeling the blood return to my brain I took both a seat and a look around at the bright and festive interior of Pollito's. The menu is posted on the wall in bands of colors that make it look like a massive 2-dimensional piñata, only if it were a piñata it'd be filled with chunks of dark meat and mole sauce and children would dread having its contents showered down upon them. Some lively artwork covers the walls which are painted with an olive and lime green color scheme that looks tasteful on the wall and sounds as though it'd taste terrible on a plate. By the time the rest of The Loop Lunch Club arrived I was salivating so much I could have filled the Rio Grande.


"I have a feeling this is going to be a contender," said Anderson, who struggled with several choices this week and settled on Pollito's for their ample table space. The LLC was expecting guests but it seems crises prevailed. Looking over the menu Anderson and Dan Ofman debated whether to share some buffalo wings as Dan Spira came through the entrance. 

I don't know anyone else who wears them

"Look at this line," Spira said as he removed a pair of 180 earmuffs that have been on the verge of looking socially acceptable since they first hit the scene 12 years ago. "Bodes well for quality." The wings situation resolved itself when we discovered they were out of them. A BBQ quesadilla was ordered in its place.


The Food arrived quickly, but not quickly enough for Anderson. "I hope they didn't forget the quesa," he said, displaying his famous aptitude for abbreviation. With the food on the table The LLC engaged in a discussion on what differentiates a burrito from a wrap. Dan Ofman, the nation's biggest FAN of "The Voice" instantly steered the discussion towards records vs. albums and the subject matter of his latest love letter to Cee lo Green.

My Buffalo Chicken Wrap.
"I forgot they had diet coke here," said Spira
of the can in the background.

"I forgot there was avocado in here," Spira lied to the group. We all know that Spira uses each LLC meeting to fill his self-imposed daily required intake of avocado and Diet Coke. He continued, "Always a positive." The use of the word 'always' was a gentle reminder that he always has avocado and couldn't possibly be surprised to find it in his Avocado Wrap.

I though my buffalo chicken wrap was a great way to start the day. It was filling and offered enough heat to provide a kick without forcing me to constantly refill my water. Dan Ofman explained as he quickly grabbed a fry from my plate that he had read online about the fries diminishing in quality as they cool down. He was right, though I'd still like former LLCer and French fry enthusiast Crisis Chris Hartemayer to ply his fry expertise and offer some insight. Anderson opted for the Poblano Mac'n'cheese, a spicier, not as cheesy, green colored cousin of the American mainstay side dish. "All the sides are popular," said the man behind the counter who is understandably tired of being asked which side dish is the best.

"What is this?" Anderson said of the hot sauce (left)
"He's a weirdo," said Anderson of Dan Ofman (right)

"That's a special treat!" Said Anderson of his BBQ quesadilla. I can speak for the entire group when I say Pollito's was a special treat itself. Personally, I think it was a better experience than LLC Tournament runner up Frontera Fresco.


Pollito's Notes:

• The Staff are big Chicago sports fans. One man wore a Blackhawks hat. Another wore a Bears sweatshirt and removed it to reveal a Bears long sleeve shirt.
• There was a lot of talk about the available sauces and salsas. Very little was consumed.
• Absence of Danny Rubenstein and Steve Lake due to crisis and dependency on Danny Rubenstein attendance, respectively. I'm sure Lake would have endorsed the soups had he been there.

Specialty's Cafe and Bakery

"I'm impressed with the overall taste." - LLC Legend Nick Nikitas

A nerd leaves Specialty's

While Nikitas was speaking about a prior Loop Lunch Club outing to Kamehachi Cafe it's safe to assume the man who selected the first LLC Champion would have a comparable reaction to this week's spot. Because last week's Bert and Ernie joke really ruffled the feathers of Steve "Big Bird" Lake he decided to fly solo in making the LLC2's fourth selection, Specialty's Cafe and Bakery at 191 N Wacker.

It's difficult for me to make this point without overplaying my experience, but Specialty's is a lot like how I would like heaven to be. Plenty of coffee, hot and cold sandwiches, all day breakfast options, and a blended aroma of ham and baked goods that redefines and re-spells the term heavenscent. I sat, eyes closed, listening to what I truly believe was a harp being strummed on the speakers, wondering if I had ascended to a higher plane on lunch and awaiting the arrival of the other LLC Angels (not a bad name for a potential cheerleading group if any female readers are looking to get their faces out there on some LLC Lunch boxes and other fabulous merchandise).

The angels were late so I decided to peruse the giant pseudo-chalkboard menus. Though as of yet unannounced I have made a vow not to order a club sandwich during this second Loop Lunch Club circuit, however, when the menu headings are "Classic," "Deluxe" and "Gourmet" there isn't much to worry about because they all sound like great, nearly excellent options. With no descriptions on the board I made the rash yet correct choice in selecting the Hot Hammer (a deluxe option). Ideally I'd be quoting an LLCer now, but none had arrived yet so I'll quote the stranger I overheard advising another stranger on what to order. "Sandwiches are good. Bread is good," he said. Clearly this man is no Dan Spira.

Lake's Peanut Butter and Jelly and Stuff

It was at this point that the rest of The LLC began to arrive. Rob Anderson was quick to point fingers, indicating immediately that "Late Lake is late again!" Anderson then snatched up a carryout menu and clued me in on the Hot Hammer's liberal portion of cream cheese. "I love cream cheese," he said. "It makes things better."

We placed our orders and were handed buzzers that added a unforeseen aspect of suspense to our waiting period. I was curios as to where The LLC would sit. Options abound for diners at Specialty's as they can accommodate any form of lower back pain or light sensitivity between the corner booths, counters, high-tops, and lobby seating with floor to ceiling windows offering an unforgettable view of the famous Wacker Drive cab traffic.

Seeing Dan Ofman approach the table with a peanut butter chocolate chip colossus Dan "Cookie Monster" Spira said for the second consecutive week, "I may have to get one of those on the way out." After sampling a bite, also for the second consecutive week, I too expressed a desire to get one on the way out. When Ofman's buzzer went off he gave a double fist pump and exclaimed "YES!" as though he had accomplished more than successfully waiting a few minutes for a sandwich to be prepared. Once I had a bite of my own I understood his excitement.  It was food hall good!

A Hot Hammer for a Hot Ammer

Dan Spira doing his best Bobby Knight in
the lobby. An apt response to Dan Ofman's
claims of the Bulls' chances without Rose.

"The water cups are a little small," said Danny Rubenstein as he took a seat at the head of the table. "But on the plus side I feel like a giant holding it." I doubt he was referring to the New York Giants who recently defeated his beloved 49ers, but perhaps carrying those tiny water cups gave him the mindset of a man only a few days away from the most important game of his life.

I was pleased with my Hot Hammer despite its only being warm and not getting me hammered. As Anderson predicted the cream cheese made it better and the potato poppy seed bread was a perfect match for the stone ground mustard. The Loop Lunch Club had a wonderful experience and a delicious meal at Specialty's that went very smoothly until Dan Spira's violent outburst simultaneously brought a hypothetical sports argument and the meal to abrupt finishes.


Specialty's Notes:

• Steve Lake really wanted me to mention the quality of the soups.
• When picking up my sandwich the guy asked if I was Ted. Why doesn't everyone know our names yet? This is the second time in four weeks we've been misidentified.
• Rob Anderson said of the below photograph, "This is the funniest picture I've seen in months."

Rick Ofman, seen here on picture day circa 1995,
with a triple threat mullet, bowl-cut, jew-fro. And
I'm not even touching on the shirt.