Cellar's Market

"What the caterpillar calls the end the rest of the world calls a butterfly." - Lao Tzu

The final meeting of The LLC took place this past week at Cellar's Market at 141 W Jackson inside The Chicago Board of Trade.  Although it was the 16th and ultimate stop on our journey through the loop, its completion marks the beginning of the real excitement. The Loop Lunch Caterpillar will now wrap itself in a cocoon of cold cuts, allowing the nutrients of the last few months to fuel our hibernation, only to emerge as a butterfly of bracketology when all six members gather to decide on a champion.

I hope this is the worst picture I ever post. 

Before the bracket is revealed let's take a moment to review our last selection, Cellar's Market. Selected by "Crisis" Chris and Nick "Northbound" Nikitas, the group originally met without the Ofman brothers while we were enjoying a typical vacation of golf and booze.  Only once on our Ofmans only outing (not many sentences begin with 7 O words) to Cellar's did I miss the other members of The LLC as nobody was willing to exercise a call option on my pickle, leaving it untouched on my plate.

I entered Cellar's with an extremely high interest rate in eating lunch but since the market is a food court I struggled to decide where to invest my appetite. As I exchanged my options in my mind regulars sped by to various counters where staff recognized them, leading to extremely illegal insider lunching. Not wanting to spend mad money I hedged my bets and ordered a turkey club. Some of the side dishes weren't ready to go so I purchased french fry futures and approached the register. I counted out my singles slowly as the cashier waited for my bills to mature.

Buy Low, Sell High, Eat Lunch

In the review of Jason's Deli I expressed great joy in how their turkey club was small enough to bite into yet big enough to fill me up. Cellar's club was too big for bites, but with big mouthfuls comes big flavor. Both the sandwich and the fresh fries didn't disappoint and were made on the spot with great haste.  Dan, however, was less satisfied with his meal. "It's pretty tasty," he said as he half heartedly stomached his half chicken, "but it's no Boston Market." It's important for the reader's perspective to understand that Dan's feelings towards Boston Market are based in a deep seeded childhood fixation not unlike that between Crisis Chris and McDonalds' french fries. Dan went on to explain that his GDP (gravy drenched potatoes) were too greasy.

By meals end I had experienced a fair amount of volatility in my feelings towards Cellar's.  The market continuously fluctuated between good food and small problems. These included a booth that forced us into highly upright, aggressively ergonomic postures, plastic silverware that had Dan visibly frustrated, and small water glasses that required self-refills. That last one lends itself well to a liquidity joke, but I'm beginning to feel greatly depressed with all these stock market puns.

Me, still wearing my Ray Ramano halloween costume, successfully appease Dan's request that I put a picture of myself looking stupid on the internet instead of him for a change.

We were just about ready to bailout, the derivative bites of our meals resting on the porcelain dishes, when I noticed a few members of the SEC (salad eating community) taking a nearby table.  The LLC members not in attendance had recommended the salads but we didn't heed the tip, and now I regret it. The salads looked great and were healthy, and we all know healthy foods pay dividends later in life.

Cellar's Notes:

• I asked Dan to help me churn out stock market pun material. Several minutes later he said, with as much enthusiasm as I've seen from him in years, "Ooooh! Ooooh! Ooooh!...Fat Cats!"

LLC TOURNAMENT NEWS:

The LLC Tournament bracket has been set. Each first round match was selected at random by Godfathers Rob Anderson, Dan Spira, and Dan Ofman. Stay tuned over the next few days as the matchups will be revealed right here on the blog.  The tournament will take place next month. More information will be disseminated as it becomes available.