Belden Deli, Restaurant, and Catering

"From overeating one suffers more than from not eating enough."
"Troubles with soup is easier than troubles without soup." - Yiddish Proverbs

Belden Deli's counter, featuring the same
guy we saw at Pittsfield Cafe, I'm pretty sure

Although it's impossible to debate the validity of the latter proverb The Loop Lunch Club did its best to dispute the former by putting the Gras in Mardi Gras this past Tuesday at Belden Deli on the 3rd floor of the Maller Building at 5 S Wabash. I entered the tucked away diner style restaurant utterly naive of my surroundings. I didn't know the name of the restaurant, I didn't recall it was Fat Tuesday, and it wasn't until I heard the waitress ask another table if they wanted "French fries or potato pancakes?" that I realized I was in a Jewish deli. This was a lot to process all at once, though it did explain the sensory disconnect between the blues station blaring and the scent of a lox platter and matzo balls wafting across the dining room.

I wonder if they still argue in
public fountains?

I was seated at a hybrid of a table and a booth that inspired an internal shouting match not unlike the classic "Great taste vs Less filling" feuds of early 2000s commercial lore (right), only mine managed to pack even more sex appeal in with only half the cleavage. The host, a kind man whose shirt undoubtedly was purchased at a Seinfeld memorabilia auction as part of the Cosmo Kramer Collection, took a seat with a regular at a nearby table and engaged him in a pleasant discussion about the customer's children's scholastic achievements. The lone waitress had the look of an aged country singer, if not the accent, and was patient and welcoming, wearing boots with ample fur to keep her feet warm at far greater altitudes that three stories.

In the brief period before The LLC arrived I considered what I might give up for Lent:
-Jokes at the expense of Dan Spira
-My 'no club sandiwches' policy
-Nicknames in quotation marks
-Cheap puns
Don't worry readers, I would never give up the foundational elements of this blog.

Our Hybrid booth/table. "I like the upstairs aspect," said Anderson of the view
overlooking the Madison/Wabash station

A brief iPhone search revealed that Belden Deli failed a health inspection no more than 45 days prior to The LLC visit. This didn't bother me at all considering my own kitchen doesn't pass my personal inspection and my food sanitation standards are as minimal as my standards for proper punctuation",

When The LLC was fully seated we congratulated Rob "Ball'n'Chain" Anderson on his recent engagement. Anderson ordered the jambalaya AND the gumbo, displaying his newfound love of commitment by taking the plunge into an all Mardi Gras meal. He was confident he had made the right choice in his order and his proposal. Much like our waitress he would not get cold feet.

Once all the food was set down a melee of tasting broke out reminiscent of the feast Robin Williams had when he remembered how to use his imagination in 'Hook'. "You know the sign of a good restaurant?" Dan Ofman said as plates zipped through the air like cars in 'The Fifth Element,' maximizing our sharing efficiency. "When everyone wants to try each other's food." Ofman would go on to praise his fries as "great" and my omelet as "outstanding." Meanwhile I couldn't eat for several minutes because my jaw had dropped so severely after Dan Ofman opted for Lunch instead of Breakfast that I physically had to push my mouth closed with both hands. Ofman later commented that his sandwich was his least favorite part of the meal because "the corned beef was soggy."

"My pastrami (above) was solid," said Spira. He would later clarify he meant 'solid' as in the lexicon
 of the '70s and, much like Ofman's sandwich, his was somewhat soggy. Not pictured - apple sauce and sour cream.

While I struggled with my facial reconstruction Dan Spira explained the history of the potato pancake to Anderson. "It's a pretty Jewish thing," he said, succinctly summarizing and paraphrasing the Old Testament as only a devout Talmudic student is wont to. "I probably won't eat the sour cream," Rabbi Spira elaborated with wild gesticulations of the hands and arms. He then sipped his diet coke to soothe the rarely used throat muscles needed to properly explain Jewish cuisine.

My omelet was very good. The eggs were fluffy, it was tolerably greasy, and the ingredients inside were plentiful enough to have a noticeable effect on flavor without overwhelming one another. However, the aspect I liked most of the omelet experience was the ordering. Unlike most "build your own omelet" menu options Belden didn't charge by the ingredient and instead allowed me as many fillings as I wanted without racking up $.75 charges. It was refreshing for a restaurant to trust that I wouldn't abuse the system. After all, who needs more than a cheese, a meat, and a vegetable?

"This could be a dark horse," Dan Ofman whispered to me as we exited. God willing.

Worth a second look

An open letter to the LLC:

The Loop Lunch Club was formed for a purpose: To find the best lunch in the loop. Since our inception we've slowly lost sight of our goal, settling for more and more storefront cafes, corporate chains, and social network abusing fad food start-ups instead of digging deeper and looking for those hidden gems of the downtown world. Walking into Belden Deli, without any idea how the food would taste, my passion for The LLC was reignited. These 3rd floor treasures are out there, just waiting for us to find them. Let's search out the unknown. Let's find more unassuming, long-standing restaurants with coffee machines older than I am and dishes that have been washed as many times as I've blinked. We can do better. We will do better. Let's get some lunch.

Belden Notes:

• I spent far too long looking for Jewish food quotes and jokes today. My safari history reads like a bibliography for a report on Milton Berle.
• Belden seemed to do a nice carryout business
• There was sink in the middle of the dining room for maximum hygeine.
• Absence of Steve "Cabo San" Lake and Danny "36 hour work day" Rubenstein