Delmonico

"Men were keeling over all around me.  I can still hear the retching, screaming...I sent sixteen of my own men to the latrines that night." - Frank Costanza, Incheon, Korea 1950.

"Sadder than destitution, sadder than a beggar is the man who eats alone in public. Nothing more contradicts the laws of man or beast, for animals always do each other the honor of sharing or disputing each other's food." - Jean Baurdrillard

For the Robert Frost fans...

Two roads diverged at a busy intersection,

And unsure if I should travel both,

Delmonico. In all its glory.

And be one lunch clubber long I stood,

And looked down one as far as I could,

To where the el bent in the construction zone.

Then took the other, east down Lake,

After trusting in my iPhone's claim,

For in the rain with no proper wear,

Though underneath the train tracks there,

I rushed across the biking lane.

And on that morning equally lay,

The leaves were wet and trodden black,

Oh, I kept the bibimbap for another day,

knowing how buffet leads on to buffet, 

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a side,

Of soup laid out for ages hence;

Two roads diverged in the loop, and I-

I took the one towards Delmonico,

And that has made all the difference.

The Delmonico Illinois Center at 233 N Michigan Ave played host to the 11th meeting of The LLC this past Tuesday. Two days later I patronized the oddly named Korean buffet and simultaneously contradicted the laws of man and beast while following the strict directives of Crisis Chris Hartemayer.  On Tuesday Chris maintained an authoritative dictatorship over the group, demonstrating the leadership qualities of a man influenced equally by Korean government and cuisine. A man who knows how to lead in times of crisis.

By withholding all information concerning this week's lunch Chris kept The LLC guessing until the minute he led the group through the labyrinth of hallways leading to Delmonico.  Upon arrival he demanded not only that everybody order a bibimbap stone pot meal but also directed the group in how to properly eat it.  Even my AWOL status couldn't stop him from extending his grasp over my eating technique, leaving me no choice but to save half of my soup to pour over the stuck on remains of rice.

The element of mystery Chris cultivated around this LLC meeting didn't end with the secret location or restaurant name. In fact, it continued throughout the meal and will likely never conclude for even after finding the place and eating there I have no idea how to find it nor what I had eaten.  The contents of a bibimbap were listed as: Steamed rice, sauteed vegetables, a fried egg, and choice of meat or chicken. I hardly recall any of those flavors. Half way through my hot mess of food I elected to add the red paste that was served alongside it.  From that point on it tasted heavily of red paste.

Two weeks in a row I've featured a picture of soup with an out of place egg. There was a hair in the yolk.

My experience at Delmonico, though lonesome, was actually quite relaxing. I, the weary traveler, came in out of the rain and was welcomed with two bowls of steaming, somewhat identifiable food.  Although I can't describe the flavor in much detail I can say that I enjoyed it and didn't feel overly heavy on the equally confusing walk back to the train.  Despite an alarming number of "Not responsible for lost or stolen articles" signs I still felt safe dining alone in the cafeteria setting and found the staff to be friendly and helpful.  The buffet seemed like a valid option as far as buffets go, and in the event that fate ever returns me to Delmonico (for my spatial memory would be unable to) I would be inclined to try it. Afterall, you know the expression, "if you've had one bibimbap you've had 'em all."

Had I attended the meeting with the other members of The LLC I imagine Dan Spira would have had this to say: "It's good...but I wish there were more meat."

Delmonico Notes:

• Walking through the rain I was made aware of the difference between 'water resistant' and 'water proof' as my jacket's resistance to water was as futile as the Miami Dolphins' resistance to being terrible.
• Two plaid clad hipsters were there discussing how ironic it was for them to be there.