The Loop Lunch Club Tournament

"Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so." - Douglas Adams

The Loop Lunch Club Tournament was held this past Friday at the home of LLC Godfather Rob Anderson. This being its inaugural year The LLC Tournament is yet to attract the national attention, sponsorship deals and television audience of its more culturally embedded NCAA and even NIT counterparts. However, that's not to say that our event should be overlooked for lacking the key characteristics of a great tournament. Let's take a look at how The LLC Tournament stacks up.

The Venue: The Superdome? Too big. The Rose Bowl? Honestly, nobody likes southern California. Madison Square Garden? I like my arenas how I like my Chinese food, no MSG. Rob Anderson's apartment? Yes, please! Rob's apartment was as fresh and inviting as the produce section at Dominick's, with plenty of snacks, drinks, and homemade chicken wings to around.

Rob had a special two sided bracket printed at Kinkos. It may look to be 8.5" by 11" but believe me, it's 48" wide.

The Competitors: There was a great deal of parody in the field of 16 as each restaurant had a chance at the title. Over the course of the evening, in neither the winners' nor losers' brackets, was there a unanimous victory.

Scouting Reports: All good coaches have them, so why would the strategic minds of The LLC be any different? Rob and Dan Ofman both produced hard copies of detailed analytical spreadsheets. These notes gave them the insights they needed to make informed decisions. Most notably, Dan Ofman's note on Heaven on Seven: "Post meal vomit".

Fans: We had five at the high point, two of which reluctantly paid attention.

Officiating: The LLC Tournament couldn't have been a success if not for the work of our noble Moderators. The Moderator was responsible for maintaining order, calling votes, and quieting the rabble. Most importantly, the Moderator had to wear a ridiculous hat and drink from a massive plastic stein. Johnny Anderson, Rob's brother, was honored as both the best-dressed attendee and the first ever Moderator.

Yes, that is an octagonal cardboard container of wine. 

Let's take a look at how it all went down...

In the opening round we saw Monk's Pub overcome a strong Pittsfield Cafe and another of Diner Dan's spots, B&B, knock Cellar's Market out of the running. There were two remarkable upsets during the tournament. One was Dan Ofman's stomach, the other was the 5-1 victory for The Berghoff over Kamehachi Cafe (clearly only an upset in my mind). In the debate leading to Perry's ousting Pastoral Crisis Chris encouraged the group to "remember, we're talking about lunch, not dinner." I didn't forget. Here's how the bracket looked after the first round.

Round two brought about some serious excitment with several matches ending in ties. As Rob's rules indicated, the vote would then go to the adoring fan(s). America voted, and with the support of the crowd Monk's Pub and The Marquette Inn lived to see another day. Later, in a showdown between Marquette and Oasis Cafe I was torn, and relied on the single word arguments of the Dans. Mr. Ofman said on behalf of Marquette, "service." Mr. Spira, on behalf of Oasis Cafe offered, "best-" and stopped himself before overstepping the word limit. I voted for Marquette. 

The semifinal match-ups were Monk's vs. Frontera Fresca and Perry's vs. Marquette. In the former, Frontera came out on top as The LLC agreed that at this point of the tournament we had to vote on taste, which Frontera had in spades. Speaking to why he voted against Monk's Crisis Chris had this to say, "The fries disappointed me, and the cola upset me." In the second match Dan Ofman struggled to garner support for his dark horse diner and Perry's walked away with a 5-1 victory in which even Dan voted against Marquette, explaining, "Perry's is better."

The Finals: I was pleased with Frontera Fresca and Perry's Deli as the two finalists (though I had anticipated Kamehachi Cafe could have made a run). Each LLCer struggled with this choice as both restaurants were strong candidates to win it all. Perry's had the giant sandwiches and fun atmosphere, while Frontera had the complex flavors of celebrity chef Skip Bayliss, who promised a special meal for The LLC if his restaurant won. After conducting a "Survival" style vote it was decided by a 5-1 margin. The Loop Lunch Club Champion is....

Perry's Deli!

Congratulations are due to Perry's as well as to The LLC for completing such a monumental journey. I'd like to thank the members of the club for including me in their quest. It was great getting to know you guys. I'd also like to thank the dedicated readership of this blog. No matter how many bad puns, comma splices, run on sentences and overly wordy prose I churned out I received nothing but support. 

Here's a final look at the bracket:

Tournament Notes:

• Luke's was voted as the worst restaurant in the losers' bracket, earning the title of "Donkey."
• Crisis Chris, who scheduled the event for 8PM, arrived at 9:35PM, due to a Crisis.